I wonder how many of you on here actually went through with it, part of me doesn’t want to, the thought, the idea of just not existing, used to haunt me. But maybe it’s because part of me always knew I wasn’t supposed to exist in the first place. I was a mistake, and not just to my parents, but to the universe. I have nothing to offer except making other peoples lives as miserable as mine. Every time I’ve ever tried, at anything, I have failed. And those closest to me laugh about it. They laugh when I hurt, that has to mean something, if me hurting is the only way to bring joy to those I love. I don’t know what else to say. I just feel as if someone should know my story, so I’m not just forgotten, but I really don’t have anything to say about myself that is significant or important at all. So maybe that’s it, maybe I was meant to be forgotten. A wasted lifeform, another one who gave up, just couldn’t deal with it. I guess maybe that’s why I am writing this. So that it’s know that it wasn’t just, ” too hard ” for me, it’s that it seems to be the only thing that I’ll ever do right. I just want to make people happy, I just want to do what’s right. There’s a lot I could say right now, but I’m so consumed with this, I can’t even think about anything else. The urge is literally ripping at me from the inside, every second that passes I feel my stomach lurch, I can hear my bones rubbing against each other with every move that I make, yelling at me, screaming for me to just end it. I have to do it now, Because now I understand, this is what it feels like.
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you are like like most of os in here not a big part of Society but you just have to wait look smell your world and meet other people that is like you i am just going around in the scool nobody want that much with me but i keep focus on the few frends i have
Someone said on here once”no one has a real purpose in life. I hate people who think they have some purpose” I don’t think anyone of us have a real purpose. Some people just get it in their heads that they have some big important purpose. I don’t know I don’t contribute much either. Just ruin.
If you want to do what’s right then you’ve got to accept yourself. You have to realize that you can’t please the whole world. It may seem like you can’t please anyone sometime or always but trust me….you’ve got to learn how to please yourself before pleasing someone else……In other words all I’m saying is that you should be proud of who you are as a person despite of not being able to please others. Don’t just go out there to please others……that shouldn’t be your motivation to live. Go out there to please yourself. And if they’re not pleased with who you are then they don’t deserve your attention, or happiness.
It’s terrible when other people laugh at your pain and don’t take you seriously when you say you’re hurting. That goes double for those who feel deep emotional pain. There’s only two options, either keeping it bottled inside and then exploding and hanging yourself, or telling others and having them laugh at you. Both are an example of how fucked up this miserable world is. That’s what is pushing me over the edge, never to return.
My name is Camren and I am 17 years old. The first thoughts of suicide came when I was around 13 or 14 years old. I am just here because I can’t understand exactly how your pain is but I can tell you how mine was/is and how I got through it.
Through all of the people that I have known, having it be Real Life friends, Xbox Live friends, or family they had helped me through a lot of the problems I had/have been facing in my life. Xbox Live friends more than others helped me through about 20%, Real Life friends 25%, and family around 55%. Now the fact that the family one is so big is because the sole person that helped me through this was my nephew. I didn’t tell anyone in my entire family that I had been feeling this way, and with my nephew I didn’t have to tell him.
I was 14 years old when he was born, October 16. I didn’t know that he was going to become such a tremendous factor in my life but he did, and he potentially saved my life. He didn’t have to talk to me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. When I would hangout with him and had to leave, his cry for me to stay was the thing that showed me that I couldn’t do it because I have to see this little kid tomorrow, and I don’t want to have to put my family into the position that they would have to tell him that when he asks, where is bean? they wouldn’t have to to say he went home or he is with his friends. Then when he drops the, We’ll see him tomorrow? They wouldn’t have to say no.
I am aware that I am rambling on, but this is for all the people out there that want to commit suicide, the people that don’t think that they have an impact on any single persons life. I didn’t think I wanted to live either until I found someone that was worth living for.
Thank You for reading and I hope that this will change your mind. 🙂
You might think that you don’t have a purpose in somebody’s life, but all I had to do was wait. I laugh at the people that made fun of me, I’m not successful at really anything I do, but I’m not too worried about what other people think of me.