I wonder how many of you on here actually went through with it, part of me doesn’t want to, the thought, the idea of just not existing, used to haunt me. But maybe it’s because part of me always knew I wasn’t supposed to exist in the first place. I was a mistake, and not just to my parents, but to the universe. I have nothing to offer except making other peoples lives as miserable as mine. Every time I’ve ever tried, at anything, I have failed. And those closest to me laugh about it. They laugh when I hurt, that has to mean something, if me hurting is the only way to bring joy to those I love. I don’t know what else to say. I just feel as if someone should know my story, so I’m not just forgotten, but I really don’t have anything to say about myself that is significant or important at all. So maybe that’s it, maybe I was meant to be forgotten. A wasted lifeform, another one who gave up, just couldn’t deal with it. I guess maybe that’s why I am writing this. So that it’s know that it wasn’t just, ” too hard ” for me, it’s that it seems to be the only thing that I’ll ever do right. I just want to make people happy, I just want to do what’s right. There’s a lot I could say right now, but I’m so consumed with this, I can’t even think about anything else. The urge is literally ripping at me from the inside, every second that passes I feel my stomach lurch, I can hear my bones rubbing against each other with every move that I make, yelling at me, screaming for me to just end it. I have to do it now, Because now I understand, this is what it feels like.