The trouble with loving a Ghost

I don’t know if my memories are real anymore because they blur with my dreams of you. I dream of how things should have been. As you torture my mind I cling tighter to those memories and dreams and I feel guilty for loving him now that you are gone. I feel guilty. I don’t feel like I deserve any happiness because you didn’t have any, I feel like I’m betraying you by building a life with him. But I have to. I’m stronger now since I lost you but I am weak, and stupid. I make bad choices and I hurt people. The ones I care about most I hurt them, because I am weak and stupid. My sweet May, I’m sorry i was weak. I hope you can forgive me someday for my sins and know that I truly am sorry for hurting you. So now I must end this ghostly love affair. You will always have a special place in my heart but I can’t throw my life away because I’m still in love with a dead man. I’ll tell our sweet wonderful daughter stories about what an amazing man you were but she will grow up calling him daddy, not you. She will grow up happy. I won’t let this destroy her too. I will teach her to be strong like we were not. Goodbye my love, I wish it were this easy, that I could just write you away would be the simplest bliss I could hope for but it’s never this easy. You will come back to haunt my dreams tonight like you do every night. I miss you. I’m sorry. I can’t get rid of you.