i dont know how to start this off but i dont know anymore, it feels like my life is falling apart and i cant do anything about it, even though its only summer, im happy about school because im gonna really try super hard this time, in grade 9 i passed most of my classes with 51s
fuck
and i didnt even pass math in summer school but thats not whats making me feel bad, its about the fact that i have no friends anymore and we used to be really close and im sure all of my internet friends hate me too
they shut me out, do you have any idea how hard it is to cope with the fact that the only people you ever actually trusted and liked just completely shut you out cause it is so god damn hard and there was so much blood and pills and just useless suicide attempts that sent me to the hospital thinking “why me? what the hell did i ever do wrong” but oh no thats not even it i dont even know what it is that makes me want to cut til i cant cut anymore and what my eyes feel dry but one day i just want to be happy and have someone love me and tell me im good enough and i just dont want to be alone anymore i am so sick of being alone it hurts so much to be alone and pleae even if youre with someone you abosoloutley want to kill please just be happy that youre not alone in that moment
its just whenever youre alone nothing seems real, reality seems too fake and you feel nothing
i dont know how to end this either i just wanted to rant i guess
2 comments
Hmm…after I dropped out of college its like I ceased to exist in the eyes of the people I liked…so I can get where your coming from there..
Being alone really sucks I know…im sorry that there isn’t really much I can do to help you there though :l
I hope you do well in school though.
Diplomatic, I flunked my entire first semester of my freshman year with the exception of I believe one class. I was expelled at the beginning of the 2nd semester and after a stint in juvenile, spent the rest of the year in an alternative high school. The next year I transferred to a fancy county school got my grades up, and passed both my freshman and sophomore years, with the help of summer school in a single year. My point is, if a piece of shit like me can do it, I guarantee you can.