I’ve always wondered why during my darkest times can I never pick up the phone and call a friend? Is it pride? lack of will? or just plain embarrassment?
I don’t know why the days that I need someone’s help are the days I just wanna lock myself in the room and be alone. It just seems so counterintuitive and yet I do it over and over again.
Why is it that we prefer to suffer alone? Is it just me?
Why is it so scary to admit that you are sad? Sometimes I almost avoid ppl just so they won’t notice how depressed I really am.
Maybe it is just me, but I hardly ever see depressed ppl actively seeking help. What happened to me? Why am I being so illogical? so stupid! how can I let myself suffer like this? Why can’t I pick up the phone? Why can’t i ask for help? Is my life really no longer worth fighting for? What is wrong with me?
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8 comments
I’m the exact same way…whenever I feel so sad or angry or anything I never can talk about it. And when people talk to me I just try to avoid them.
I feel like I do it because I don’t want to drag people into it. If they’re busy living their lives and not noticing you, why should you? How would you even begin to reach out? I feel like I would just be bothering people with my problems.
@justmehere I guess that is also how feel. I don’t wanna bother ppl with my problems. but how do u expect to get help or get better if u can’t talk to anyone. Being alone makes u feel depressed and when u r depressed all u wanna do is be alone. It is just never ending
I’m not sure really. Funny thing is I love being alone. Probably my favorite thing. But I hate feeling lonely, and I don’t know how to stop it. Not really sure I can expect to get better unless I try helping my own self.
Echoed my thoughts perfectly.
I’m a bit different to you though. I’ve been avoiding mates, staying at home in bed and basically just withdrawing in general. I know this is bad for me but I just keep doing it anyway because the people in my life do not get what I’m going through. Everyone is seriously a child to me, they think and behave in ways that are so childish. Their opinions are so shallow. They offer advice which only someone completely emotional incompetent would give to someone who is depressed. They are fake in everything they do and say, pretend to ‘care’ about you but then bail when they see you struggling and realise you’re a sinking ship.
I’ve just spent another weekend at home without any social contact. Strangely, its a lot more comforting than spending time with the fake ones out there.
I just recently admitted to someone ( friend online) that I’m unstable and suicidal. Felt like that to one degree or another for years but my whole life I’ve been the strong one so I felt I couldn’t say it. Now that I have its causing me anxiety. :/
@Rey That’s what I mean.. I avoid social situations too. I try to meet new people you know not like the shallow one that hang around me but it just take too much energy to talk to someone when u r depressed or to try to get to know someone new. But I know i should get out there I can not live my life staying at home even though it is more comfortable.
Yeah I admire your motivation and your insight to your dilemma. You must be digging hard to find it while dealing with the depressive moods, which shows your strength really
@thewhispers.. what was your friend’s reaction ?? how did the whole thing go? I am curious since for a long time I’ve wanted to tell someone but I am always worried that they would pitty me or I would look too pathetic.