I know there are endless threads on this topic but I can’t seem to find a consistent answer. Does anyone know of a painless way to commit suicide (either from research or from a painless past overdose)? I do not know if I will get a response and if I do receive one I am not looking for some form of moral support. I understand that there is much to take out of life and that, as the 15 year old I am, I have not yet experienced many of the joys life has to offer, but I have suffered for too long. Medications and meetings with doctors have not helped ease the pain and the severe depression I have fought since I was 11 years old. As an outsider, the length of my illness may not seem very great, but I can tell you that it feels like I have had this pain for what feels like an eternity. In all honesty I have not yet made up my mind as to whether I want to go through with this suicide or not. The major factor is the amount of pain I am afraid I will cause both for myself physically while taking my life, and for my family and friends emotionally after the damage has been done. God/the afterlife is not a factor. I do not consider myself a religious person and while I have not ruled out the possibility of there being some form of God or an afterlife, I believe that if there is a God, he will not punish a person for desiring to rid themselves of suffering. I am typically strong willed but I have lacked any sort of motivation for a very long time. I have lost the will to be the best student I can be, and I have even lost the will to do the things I once loved – hanging with friends and family, playing and writing music, and building my strengths as an athlete. I have lost all of my passions and no longer feel like doing anything (including getting out of bed in the morning). I am not living for myself right now. I am living to spare my parents of the pain I will cause them if/when I take my own life. I find myself questioning now whether sparing my parents some pain is worth the pain I suffer on a daily basis. I apologize for the length of this post, I just figured I ought to give background as to why I am here. Once again, the reason I am posting is because I want to know of any form of painless suicide in case I do decide to take my own life. I have done plenty of research but I get very inconsistent answers. I attempted suicide earlier this year by entering my Mom’s car in the garage, turning on the ignition, and letting it run. I was probably sitting in the driver’s seat alone for about 5-10 minutes when I began to experience severe dizziness/numbness. If I had given in to the numbness and let myself fall asleep, I do not know how it would have resulted, but I did not go through with it. I got scared, got out of the car, went inside, opened a window, and propped myself down against the wall below the opened window. Would this have been the easiest/most painless way to go out? I ought to also mention that I have access to anti-depressants and Adderall. Whatever it takes to spare myself some pain, I think I may end up going through with it. Again, I understand that I am young and have much to live for in the eyes of some people, but I have been suffering for a long time and selfishly do not think I can fight this any longer. Please, can anyone help educate me on any painless forms of suicide? For anyone who has read all of this, I thank you. I know you are here to help others get through their pain and I think that is admirable.
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I must say you strike me as amazingly mature/brainy/eloquent for your age.
May I ask what is the root of your suffering?
One the one hand I feel sympathy for you, on the other I can’t quite bring myself to recommending you methods. I’m sorry.
Thank you muspelhem. I have recently dealt with the loss of my friends from my town (I go to a private school in a different town) whom I knew and considered my best friends for as long as I can remember. I saw that as we aged they became very “cliquey”. They began to only care for themselves individually, and they were exhibiting some other behaviors and participating in activities that I was not proud of. It was the most difficult decision I have ever made, but I politely asked that they leave me out of their future plans. Feeling isolated, forgotten, and alone, none of them reached out. This was months ago and in that few month span only one friend has checked in on me – a friend I used to consider my brother. We legitimately spent every single free day together up until this past summer when I distanced myself. I know that I was the one who distanced myself and therefore should not necessarily stress over it, but it is so hard to say goodbye to those who you have been closest with your entire life. However, my recent friend struggles are only one minor aspect of my sadness. For the last few years I have dealt intensely with the disappointment of my parents (mostly academically). As I started to feel the symptoms of depression as a mere 11 year old, my motivation and dedication towards many things took a hit, one of those things being school. Up until then, I had been a very tenacious and well-rounded student. Nowadays I find myself apologizing to my parents upwards of 10 times a day for my inability to meet expectations. They are amazing and loving parents, but their standard in all aspects of life is very high, so I often feel unable to do what is expected of me. It is difficult to convey emotion through a computer screen and it is even harder to find the words that would convey that emotion, but to keep it simple, disappointment is the major root of much of my sadness. Also, typical teen struggles have more lasting negative impacts on me because of my current depression-induced vulnerability. I have a very supportive group of school friends and an amazing girlfriend, but as great as they are, I do not feel that I have enough to keep me going each day. Again, I really appreciate your response. It feels good to know that there are strangers looking to help.
P.S. Car exhaust only worked in the olden days, as far as I know. Catalytic converters ‘killed’ that method.
I can relate to a lot of what you’re saying: leaving friends but missing them at the same time, academic difficulties setting in on the verge of your teens, parental expectations weighing you down.
Don’t worry about the (former) friends – if you change your mind, you should be able to rebuild the friendship. And you will of course meet many new people throughout your life.
To me, it sounds like you need some reason(s) to live, which you don’t feel like you have right now. This may sound strange, but your parents (unless they are really weird) obviously want what is best for YOU. So you should be able to leverage those ambitions to your own advantage, i.e. use their love for you to achieve your happiness.
As I already mentioned, you sound UNUSUALLY smart. So I don’t think that is the problem. You also sound sensitive, which should also be a great asset.
I think your problem is that this is YOUR life. Of course you have the freedom to say ‘no thanks, I’m done, no more suffering please’.
You also have the freedom to say: ‘What can I get out of this life? How can I make this life work for ME, make ME happy, make ME more serene?’
To me, that is the essence of growing up. Realising that life is something that was thrust upon you, that you never asked for, and are now free to do with as you please. And that other people are in the same situation, and trying to make it work for themselves. If you focus on your own needs, dreams, ambitions, desires, etc. and communicate them clearly to your parents and other people in general, ask for their help to achieve them, that is such a sign of maturity.
I am thirty, am just learning these things after being lost for decades. I still feel numb and depressed a lot of the time.
But I have learned that I am like a car: I can’t run on empty. I need something that GENUINELY motivates me to live on. That is the number one concern. And then I need to manage the energy that that gives me carefully. I need to chill out and not waste it on all sorts of meaningless stuff like conflicts and social anxiety etc. So I’m getting really good at just being totally relaxed most of the time, and then, when I need the energy for something important, I have it. It feels great. People are taught how to manage money, they should also be taught how to manage energy IMO. Especially depressed people who have little energy to spare.
Anyway, this was a long rant, did it miss the target, or…? Please correct me if your challenges are something completely different. We should be able to help you if we just keep working on it 🙂
Thanks for taking so much time to analyze my situation… I think you are right that I need something to live for because right now I am struggling to find that motivation – and in order to find my reason to live I need to begin to really focus on my passions and what is going to help make me happy. It is difficult to even pursue those passions, however, because I am so tired all the time. I apologize for the lack of depth in my response; I just don’t know how to find the energy to do what will make me happy in the long run. I know i’m not giving you much to work with here but I’m stuck :/. You’re right on target though with the comparison to the car. Fuel is just hard to come by at the moment.
carbon monixide still pours out of a tail pipe dont kid yourself a double barrel shotgun to the roo fo the mouth would go quick google the result its gore for sure but how could anyone survive it would be over in the blast
@retiredNCO: Have you read the ‘Preacher’ comic? There’s a kid in it called Assface, because he disfigures himself attempting to emulate Kurt Cobain. Put me off the gun method for good.
I didn’t do it.