No more tears and no more trying. Trying – what does that mean? – Trying to find a place to fit in, trying to find some peace – just a comfortable place in this life – not looking for perfection or paradise – just a comfortable place … it just doesn’t exist anymore! So why keep trying enough of the pain, enough of the hardship, enough of the harassment, threats and harm. Enough of trying.
I look back at my life and consider how did it come to this. I used to be okay, how did it change – bit by bit over 20 years – but, not now too much agony and pain for way too many years and too many scars – physical and emotional – I do not even recognize myself anymore. All I did was try – even the person who gave me life said the same – I tried do get it right and it all came crashing down. How stupid I have been and so tired to do it again…only myself to blame in the end too many bad choices.