Nightmares every single night. Can’t stop thinking about it when awake. I sedate myself with trash TV and music and school just to try and forget. But it always comes back… each time I am sadder, angrier, more hopeless than before.
This life must end. At some point, I just need to take the risk and shoot myself in the head. Trying for the find the most desolate stretch of land around me to increase the chances of dying…
6 comments
You wouldn’t waste time posting in here if you were to shoot yourself…. I’ve been on that end of the gun… I’ve pulled the trigger…. The end comes not with a thunder but with silence and serenity…. To fight is to have a chance… The worst enemy of the suicidal is to accept fate… Or destiny… To be carried by the current.
You’ve tried to shoot yourself? In the head or the chest? Using what gun? How are you not dead?
Mostly asking because I want my suicide attempt to work the first time.
I am planning on shooting myself in the brain stem by aiming 45 degrees diagonally up the mouth using a large caliber semiautomatic.
Me too, I have nightmares every night. I wake up several times and then just go back to sleep because at least my consciousness is turned off during sleep.
I read somewhere today that some guy’s e-cig exploded and killed him. I couldn’t help but wish it was me. I smoke and drink myself to death, hate this existence and I know that it has to end, because this is not a life, it’s torture.
Its comically absurd to me that people are dying in all sorts of low probability and creative ways while I am desperately seeking something that is sure to kill me.
Honestly, if I don’t get up the nerve to shoot myself, I might just have to go the slow way — tobacco and alcohol and volunteering in places with lots of nasty diseases and just hoping that something kills me without torturing me for more than a few days.
Wish you best of luck and a peaceful ending, nobody deserves to suffer, not even for a minute. How about becoming a volunteer firefighter? You might save some lives in the process and there is a high chance of being killed. They won’t take me cos I’m a girl.
As for me, if all goes to plan I’ll be gone this winter. It takes a certain degree of courage and pain to take the final step but when you know there’s no other way out , it will come to you one dark night.
ya i agree. the only time i get remotely jeolous of someone for what they have is when i hear they died and how many people are sad etc. if it was me at least people wouldnt hurt by being sad, the ones that were to feel anything would probably be glad anyways