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So? what now?

by Autumn Jane Sky

So recently I met someone. were officially dating and well its nice. He calms me and keeps me grounded, but i still feel like I’m going to drown, part of me feels as if i have to go, as if even if things get better, my mind and soul has chosen, and that my year is almost up. I haven’t shared with him my plans to go, i doubt i ever will. I hate how everyone thinks that he has managed to fix me already, i seriously don’t see how you can fix me. You cant fix monsters.

anyway, here’s a short story since i haven’t been on for a bit:


She walked towards the shore

Dressed in her white lace dress.

It was all to be beautiful



It was to be quiet,




It was a splendid day:

spring blossoms flourished, birds chirped, the lake water was crystal clear.

Dew droplets caressed her feet as she strode down the isle of tiny wild flowers towards the lake.

the train of her dressed fa;lowed closely behind her kising=g the soft ground.


Today was the big day, one she had dreamed of for month.

her heart beat rapidly,

her fingers trembled softly,


Today, she left her old life behind

She was to be born anew.

She reached the waters edge at last.

she let the water kiss her feet as she took a deep breathe and walked toward her lover.


Her mind began to question, was this the one?

she became nervous, could she wed this lover?

but she kept walking towards him, letting herself be cradled by his cool hands

she smiled,

alas, this was meant to be

today, the bride in white took one last breathe

the final plunge,

and married death.



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kontinkatink 10/5/2014 - 2:59 pm

So why do you think you’re a monster?

Autumn Jane Sky 10/5/2014 - 3:12 pm

oh darling, my head is simply a mess. a loud scary place. and what i am now, with too many self inflicted scars, the girl who cant shut her own thoughts up, has scared and hurt so many friends that monster is the only word i can describe myself as.

kontinkatink 10/5/2014 - 4:21 pm

It can be like that can’t it. It’s hard when so many bad things happen to not be in that head space. I honestly don’t know what the answer is…I wish I did. I assume that you have sought help for what plagues you…there’s no shame in saying you’re struggling and calling for help…hopefully it will come. I can only send you my best wishes that things will improve.

kontinkatink 10/5/2014 - 5:04 pm

I’m not sure you’re exactly a monster, we all fuck up from time to time. I loved my friends and just wanted to be treated like I’m not a 2nd class citizen…to have rights. I always went to their aid and put up with things I don’t think many ppl would. But I loved them and cared enormously about them, wanted the best for them and I think I showed it in the things that I did…no one can take that away from me…no one…only I know what was in my heart…I wish they knew and I wish they didn’t do the things they did…it hurt.

AfflictedSmile 10/5/2014 - 7:22 pm

What now…we wait for the damn rescue boat we both know isn’t coming. haha At least it isn’t coming for this guy. However if I have to wait, so do you! =)

Autumn Jane Sky 10/7/2014 - 9:59 pm

Then let us wait together. Maybe the boat won’t come, might just have to grow gills and fins eh?

blueorchid123 10/5/2014 - 8:42 pm

Amazing short story. Just purely and utterly amazing.

Autumn Jane Sky 10/7/2014 - 9:57 pm

Why thank you. šŸ™‚

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