2o14 has been the worst year of my life. My psycho girlfriend miscarried our child in the beginning of this year and I have never been the same. I’ve gone from being a social, funny, out going guy, to someone who stays away from everyone and doesn’t want to do anything anymore. I tried doing nursing in college, which is what I really wanted to do, but failed out and am going for a degree in criminal justice with intent to be a police officer, but I don’t have the best past which might keep me from being one and I’ll end up wasting my time. I’ve become a disappointment to my entire family. My girlfriend doesn’t let me talk to any of my girl friends. emphasis on the space. Every time I’m down and talk to her about it, she calls me annoying and stupid. I have jerk friends who just want to hang out so they can see me get drunk and laugh at me. They all make plans without me and stab me in the back. I am also in the MO National Guard and am about to head out for 6 months of training, but with social anxiety now, I am deathly terrified. None of this even seems too much to be concerned about, but there is a lot more detail, and I just don’t want to waste anyone’s time. I just wanted a place to right this down in case I decide to take my own life tonight or sometime soon, so I guess thanks for reading although it won’t really matter for me.