I gave myself one week for me to change my mind, and to not execute my plan to attempt suicide. The day that I planned to execute my plan, and end my life was Friday. I told myself that if anyone showed that they actually cared about me, or if someone gave me a reason to live that I wouldn’t end my life. One of my ex-college professors called my cell phone this weekend. He asked if I was okay, and said that I seemed troubled the last time that he talked to me. I immediately tried to reassure him that I was “fine”, but he didn’t believe me, and insisted that if I ever needed help to come talk to him. He keeps sending me all these emails about how I need to stay positive, and that I can’t let life get me down. Is this a sign? Does he actually care about me, or is he simply just curious? I have no clue, and I don’t think that I want to alter my plans for Friday. I’m so tired, and I can’t do this anymore. I am so sick and tired, of constantly being sick and tired. Once upon a time I wanted to be saved, but now I just want everyone to accept my decision. I don’t know what to do. I want to kill myself, but I don’t want him to feel guilty; I am not worth the guilt. Why did this have to happen? All I wanted was to fade out of this word once and for all.
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7 comments
Personally, I think he cares. He called you and he’s sent several emails. It sounds like he’s concerned.
I can relate to feeling like theres nothing to live for. Sometimes it feels like theres no point fighting a losing battle.
Its always easier said than done, but if a sign is what your looking for then- it Has been given to you.
God has sent him bsck into your life to show that even if it seems there is no-one else He is still there for you. If thats not enough, even all these responses your getting online should be proof enough that your life is worth way more than you think it is. And if u can jus keep fighting to live! I PROMISE you God will bless your life abundantly.
But you have to be strong.
You are loved, even if it doesnt seem like it always. People get so lost in their own lives an trying to fit in, that they forget about the people around them.
Please dont lose hope.
Where there is hope-miracles are possible.
Yeah I believe the man truly cares and you should stop your plan to end yourself and get some help. Trust me I have been suicidal many times. Even attemped it a few times. But a bounced backafter i got help and carried on with my life and I am glad that I did. If I had died way bac when I was first suicidal I would have missed out on so much because I have done so much with my life sice then. I still to this day struggle with suicidal thoughts. But I get help. I have a psych doctor that cares and I am on meds and I have a good family and friends that help and my life is getting better. Try to focus your energy on fixing whatever is going n in your life that causes you depression and find a way to deal with it. Slef help books, finding peopole to tak to, a conselor. If I were you I would go iin to see that guy > your old professor who called you and see him in person and have a heart to heart talk with him. You would be surprised ow much somebody like him could help you and help you turn things around
good luck.
As much as I would love to talk to him, and unload the weight that is on my shoulders, I just don’t feel like I should burden him with my problems. I have tried to seek help before, but nothing really worked. I’m honestly at the end of my rope here, and I just don’t know if I can keep struggling through the day anymore. After seven years of struggling day in and day out, I am just ready to be done.
Oh I also do believe that this is a SIGN
I believe in God so to speak and I believe God can reach us in our darkness and often does it buy working through other people. This man felt the urge to call you. Thats a sign
Take the opportunty to get help while you can
he truly cares, and its a sign. you shouldn’t take the sign for granted. take a chance to get help and battle your obstacles with someone who does truly care. you are a perfect soul. love yourself.
I think that it is a sign, it’s showing that you deserve to be alive and you should keep on having hope.