I’m looking for a short term coping mechanism that allows me to remain functional and that won’t lead to a downward spiral that damages my family – something I can keep hidden, and that won’t ruin my health and make things harder long term.
I don’t fancy cutting – I don’t like scars, or the sight of my own blood.
I’ve never found alcohol particularly effective, and the lives of alcoholics seem to unravel frequently.
Likewise, other recreational drugs seem to lead to a downward spiral. I don’t wan’t to end up on the street, or forcing my family to intervene, or getting a criminal record.
I haven’t really found any prescription drugs helpful either, and I’ve tried several.
I don’t want to commit suicide, as it would destroy my family. But I feel a desperate need to escape, from myself, my life, my thoughts, other people, reality. I want a release.
How do you emotionally check out of life, while giving the impression of someone content and functional for another 50+ years?