It’s harmless right. I’m not bothering anyone. I wish I was dead. Life is a ****ing joke! This is so stupid, I am so stupid, life is so stupid. I have known for many years how I would die. By my own hand, hanging from a tree in Letchworth, with the tips of my toes lightly brushing the snow topped forest floor. No one will find me until spring when the hikers break, hunters aren’t allowed in the state park. I have always loved that place, it’s so spiritual. I just keep thinking of my body being defiled by him. I am just left in that state of mind that 7 year olds mentality in which I have done wrong. And people wonder why I mutilate my body, because it’s dirty and I’m bad. I hate that word – molestation – it makes me purge. Now it’s long over, 20+ years past that era of my life and I… I can’t forget… I can’t unsee, unfeel… It’s so surreal, and I’m left wounded. I am hurting tonight SP, I just can’t… It hurts so bad.