I want a mom, a mom who cares for me a mom who loves me, i just need support from her, caring and loving that’s all i want. Someone who can just sit around tell me how much there proud of me, someone who looks at me like i was worth something, someone who believes and me and that don’t trow me away like a piece of shit over school grades… Mom what did i ever did to you, i’m sorry i was born, i’m so sorry, i know you regrets it, you’ve told me so many times, i see it, i know it, Mom i’m not blind nor deaf, i know i’m a big failure i know that i will never go far in life, but at least, at least give me some love, i’m trying so bad to please you, i’m trying so bad to be the daughter you want but you never notice anything, my efforts are just invisible at your eyes, i’m invisible. Remember that time, that time you beat the shit out of me with a piece of wood because my cousin hit me, remember how you always pick your boyfriend over me, remember when you threw me out the house and didn’t even look at me. I want love, just that, i only need that love nothing more nothing less…. i need your love, please i’m begging you, love me.
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I am sorry your mum is like that
yeah me too but i guess i need to hold on for 4 years then it’s done
You didn’t do anything wrong. Having a loving mother is every child’s birthright. There is literally nothing you could ever do or have done not to deserve having a real mom as you grow up. Please remind yourself of this as often as you can, and work on slowly disconnecting her from your life. Please find other people who *do* value you and who will love you as friends or romantic partners. (This might take a long time too.) The difference between unloved (and under-loved) children and those who were, is that the kids who received adequate support from their parents often take for granted that they were *taught* to feel secure in themselves and “worthy.” The rest of us have to either learn this from other people or, learn to love ourselves independent of anyone else’s approval. I’m positive this can be a successful endeavour for most, if not all young people.
my mother was like this…….she might very well still be like this, i dont know because we dont speak…………i am full grown and have 2 of mine own, and i can confess 2 you now that i have never fully healed from the 15 years spent under the gun of that woman………….but it has taught me a great deal about human nature, about the nature of my humanity, as it were….and how NOT to raise children, how NOT to treat people, which i personally believe is the VERY BEST manual to learn from (as i havent been privy to any other, i’ll admit i’m limited) and although i realize the following is a pale cry into a very dark night, i implore you to listen:
you are far MORE than just worthy of love, you are deserving of it, which is endowed upon us by God, (or whatever the fuck you beleive in, no judgements) not your mother, and thusly, what you have found to be defecient in today, you will find comes in abundence in later years……love will find you, and someone will be totally gobshite fer ya…. and i am already proud of you
thank you and yes everything you said is true
Cant.FixMe,
I grew up with a very mentally ill (and seemingly unloving) mother and even into adulthood it hasn’t been easy to deal with. Believe me when I say that the way your mother is certainly is not your fault. We all deserve to be brought into the world with loving parents, but unfortunately, that is not the case in every situation. A child is never to blame for that.
L4Y