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Cowardly???

by InvisibleToAll

People say only cowards kill themselves…they need a way out so they take their own lives. That’s not true people have so many problems when they hit bottom you would think the only way to go from there is up. Some people like myself mentally and physically can’t we don’t see no were to go…we once had a thing that pushed us to live, but that thing is no longer there. I’m going to be honest I think about killing myself at least once a day. To be honest again if I knew how many pills to take then I would be already gone…I don’t want to wake back up I want to be gone. That’s why most kids today have not killed themselves they are afraid to wake back up. We go day by day thinking why would god put me in this life? Why would he suffer me like this? God loves all his children he gives us a path and we have to choose it…he want’s no matter what for us to live no matter what we are going through. That’s the amazing thing about humans we are born to fight. If you are like me I keep everything held in I don’t like to talk about my problems, it usually all builds up until I have a breaking point. I am at my breaking point now…I may not even be here tomorrow. People say that they are here for us and people love and will miss us but they don’t process the fact that once we are gone they will remember but like everything else they will forget…the love they had for us will still be there but the pain won’t hurt them after time passes…I know what all you guys are going through believe me I know. I am 15 and have a lot of life ahead of me but what I want most out of the world is not to live that life I want to be gone.

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jj 12/9/2014 - 2:40 pm

We are in pain – we are not cowards – living with the pain is so hard but it takes courage and stamina which is exhausting. I know sometimes the only option for relief for ourselves and our loved ones is to opt out. BUT the truth is our loved ones would miss us every single day – I miss my loved one who committed, and I almost lost another loved one last week to suicide as well. It makes me think twice about killing myself. All our families/friends want is for us to smile again and laugh with them. I would walk through fire to save my loved one from depression and suicide. Don’t out yourself, you deserve a good life and you are cherished. You are a beautiful person inside and out.

InvisibleToAll 12/9/2014 - 2:54 pm

If people care so much then why have they not noticed…when we are gone that’s when they notice. Then they ask themselves why didn’t they ask for help? We are scared to ask.

nias 12/9/2014 - 2:46 pm

You are just 15 and, as you say, have a lot of life ahead of you so it’s sad to read that you wish to end it. I have also been keeping my problems in, no one in real life knows the despair I feel inside, they think I’m ok, what else can I tell them. That’s why I’ve stayed with SP, at least I can talk about my problems with people who can understand. Please try and stay talking here, be here tomorrow, you’re young, you do have a life ahead of you.

InvisibleToAll 12/9/2014 - 2:58 pm

Thank you and yes I will try to fight it out…but I can’t promise I will be here this weekend.

nias 12/9/2014 - 3:11 pm

We’ll be here for you, to listen to you, to offer support as we know the despair of life, the emptiness and having no one know about it that you’re going through yourself.

krazykaze007 12/12/2014 - 8:53 am

Kid your 15 years old! Damn, it will get better for sure man, wait til your 18 and you will see the difference. Just don’t do drugs and don’t drink, that shit will destroy you. Go play some basketball or computer games.. have some fun! Those years were the best times of my life.

tc13 12/12/2014 - 10:43 am

greetings, i agree with krazykaze (surprise, lol), at 15, your body and mind are still developing. you now have the opportunity to develope the skills and habits of a healthy lifestyle that suits YOU. the daze of depression will pass, functional reality will return, and you will be in control of your thoughts again. depression in young people in your age group is quite common. our bodies go through such rapid changes that its hard to keep up. unlike kaze, my teens were shit, and i couldnt wait to be done with them. i hid and suppresed my depression and tried to live a NORMAL life. you see where that got me. depression will not be denied. but it can be fought. i also agree with kaze on the alcohol/drug issue. stay away from it like the plague. as a 35 year alcoholic/drug addict i can tell you stories for weeks on the horrors and evils of alcohol/drugs. they do not help depression. they just numb the body and mind, and cause more problems than they help. please keep trying. your mind is still young and can develop good, healthy, habits. i dont know if we will ever be NORMAL, but that does not mean we cant be healthy and happy. peace to you

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