Hi my name is niecy I’ve struggled with depression ever since I was 14 but was not diagnosed until I was 15 I have struggled with depression and let alone bipolar disorder for a long time I’ve struggled with mental anguish its been a long struggle I need help and I’m getting help but I can no longer hide how I feel I think about dying sometimes and sometimes I feel I’m alone ever since highschool I was alone I didn’t have many friends and I still don’t but who cares in this world I guess the loners are here to not make friends I guess we are just passing through that’s sucks a little bit but anyways I feel heavy at times I guessed I never gave myself time to heal in the past all these ugly emotions of unworthyness, loneliness, rejection, and depression reared its ugly head, I really do hope that God has not forgotten about me because if he did then I’m doomed that means I have been doomed since birth, I feel like I have no friend eventhough I have my own house food clothes and you guess what is you so depressed about well try talking to God and he has not answered most of your prayers try praying and you just feel empty try going to church and you just don’t fit, blah blah you might say I’m complaining but I know how I feel on the inside I can’t even keep a boyfriend as pretty as I am they only want to use you for their waste bucket. I just feel different once again depression has reared its ugly head right along with its friend bipolar
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Well I am glad that you are getting help. Its rought when I talk to people who are depressed and suicidal but they refuse to get help. Or refuse to make chages in their lives to help themselves
I have had times when I had a lot of friends and times when I didnt have hardly any friends at all.
But I learned that you can be happy living a solitary life if that is what is good for you. When I lived a solitary life I spent most of my free time Reading. Reading really helps me to learn about life and there are lots of good books that can give you great idead how to overcome obstacles and how to turn things around for the better. Sometimes I feel like my books are my best friends.
I know how that heaviness feels and its no picnic. But I am glad you are willing to get help and express to others even if just on this forum what you are going through. Most of the people here at this forum have been through similar situations as you are now.
Lonliess can hurt…. but being in a bad relationship can be hurtful too.. so I am glad you have recognized that some relatiosnhips are not good if the other person is not sensitive to you and your needs and only wants to use you. If you look around long enough you will find hte right guy who will care for you properly. I went through the unworthyness and rejection too in fact I still deal with those issues at times. Because I was raised in an abusive home and was always told I was unwanted and it really hurt me… I grew up with low self esteem and anger problmes because of the way I was treatd at home. I believe all these types of issues can be overcome.
So dont believe that what you are feeling right now is going to stay with you forever.
things can and will get better for you.
I do believe in God and I dont believe God has forgotten you. For me I dont know how much God actually does to fix our problems. I think God works more buy giving us tools to help ourselves and also God can work through people and circumstances. So my belief in God is 1) you have to be a good person 2) you have to be willing to help yourself 3) you also need to realize that help can come from other people so I am glad you are seeking help.
Take steps to get yourself better. Competely recoveing from mental anguish that you have been deal with for years is nlikely to get fully better overnight. It more likely to come in steps.
Sometimes we need to change our thinking about life and he future. Sometimes we need to let the past go and use the NOW moment to relax and make choices that will make things better for ourselves. You can make friends on here. Keep us posted on how your doing
if you need to chat with somebody one on one then just ask somebody on here and somebody will try to help.
Good luck with everything