I don’t feel much anymore. It’s like I’m floating just below the water, aware that my lungs are burning, but I’m unconcerned. I see so much and nothing at all. I see that I am likely to end up alone. I see that I cannot have children. I see that I am about to graduate college with a useless degree and a fuck load of debt. I see fires and wars and disaster and hatred and guns and knives and cars accidents and pain in the world. I see that I should do something. There I begin to see nothing. There is nothing to do. You cannot eradicate evil. You can not put out one fire and expect another not to catch elsewhere. It is a losing battle. It is endless, and I am tired. I see that it is never enough. I see not just nothing, but that I am nothing. I am not angry. I just don’t want a future. I see blackness when I think of it. I don’t give a shit if I live or die, but I know that the first will end in the latter, so what is the point? I just can’t keep my eyes open. I can’t continue to see. I can’t continue. But I can’t kill myself. What else is there?
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2 comments
Well you bring up some points that lots of people go through. Your not alone in how you feel.
You have made some valid points to be depressed about. And those are points that lots of other people get depressed about too.
Lots of people are lonely. Lots of people have spent a large amount of money on an education only to find out they cant find a job in that field and are left working a low paying job with a huge debt hanging over their head. I know dozens of people in the same predicament. And yes, Fires, Wars, tornados and other natural disasters strike areas and devistate people and many die from those things some have all their possesions wiped away and its sad. Your also right about hatred and fighting and crime and all kinds of other stuff. Overpopulated prisons, rip off scams all of that stuff hurts people or puts and end to people and its sad that these problems are facts of life. And Yes I have contimplated something you brought up about how it seems like theres so many probems in the world and its endless in trying to get them all fixed. Like a never ending battle. And it really is. There will always be problems in the world and problems in each of our lives that we have to deal with.
BUT for one. You are not nothing. Your a good person but your just coming to the conclusion that we all have to face in life…. that life is not perfect and it can be hard at times.
But there is also a lot of Good in the world. So we have to learn to deal with the fact that there will always be issues to face in life…and some of those issues are hard to deal with. But we can sneak in some good times in between the difficulties and enjoy as much of life as we can. And we all can also contribute even if just a little bit to making the world a little bit better by being a good person in a world that has a lot of probems.
So Yes life is not always fair. Its not always roses and daisies. It can be hard at times.
But if you try hard enough you can make things better for yourself and have some good times. and by being a good person we can be part of the positive change that the world needs.
Try not to focus on the bad stuff in the news all the time. Try to be open to notice that there are good things in the world too and good people you can have friendships and relationships with. Being a good person and trying to have the best life that we can is all that we can do.
Enjoy the good times when they come and try to remain optiistic about your personal future.
I wish you Lots of Good luck
I hope you find peace and have a good life
I hope everything works out for the best for you
You never mentioned about.. Love. Some of us are just to far gone to grasp that right now… well I am.. but you seem like your on your way, a bright future ahead of ya.. just focus on your career and health and find the most important thing on this planet, a girl to be in love with. Physical and mental pleasure.. unfortunatley at a young age i subsituted that with drugs.. and fucked my whole life up.. didnt mean too.. jus happened..So as long as you stay away from drugs and booze. . You’ll be fine my friend. So go out and get a hottie to romp.