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Nothing is easy. Secrecy is even harder

by Lost2many

I’m not sure why I’m feeling the way I am.   When I made my decision and came up with the plan, I felt relieved.   When I took the first step and bought a burial plot in the small cemetery where my father is buried, I felt I had accomplished something concrete.   I already have rough drafts of my letters written, and decisions made on where and how.   I’m just waiting for one more (unwanted) event to occur, after which no one will need me anymore.  Yesterday I went out and ordered my headstone, which looks just like my  dad’s, except that I wanted to put a small cat’s head design in a lower corner, because I’m hoping that somewhere I’ll be re-united with the ones I’ve buried over the years.    I just wanted people to be able to tell that I was a cat lover.  Then I learned that the cemetery will not allow any non-religious designs anywhere on the stone.  It seems like such a minor thing to ask for, yet is such a disappointment.  Logically, of course, it shouldn’t bother me, considering I won’t be around anymore and I know I’m doing what has to be done, but I’ve been really bummed out since yesterday and there’s no one else I can tell.  If you took the time to read this, thanks for letting me tell someone.

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4 comments

theWhispersOfMySins 12/12/2014 - 11:30 am

I read this. It’s sad to be honest. I hope you find reasons to live.

Lost2many 12/14/2014 - 7:35 pm

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and reply.

L4Y 12/12/2014 - 11:33 am

I read it as well. I’m sorry you feel this way and that things turn around for you.

On a side note, that is a silly rule regarding the headstone that I had no idea existed. People should be able to put whatever they wish on their stones.

L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)

Lost2many 12/14/2014 - 7:38 pm

Thank you for taking the time to reply and acknowledge how I feel. Even the people at the memorial studio thought it was a shame. I wasn’t asking for something garish, just a small design of a cat’s head at the bottom corner, looking up at my name. Unfortunately, the Catholic diocese in that area won’t permit non-religious designs on the stones.

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