So, I have two large tattoos on my arm that I fucking hate. One is a pink riot grrl tattoo with a skull and crossbones and the one underneath my arm says “stupid ******”. I already know that I am crazy it runs in my family. I was conceived in a state mental hospital. So I sort of am naturally inclined to fuck up already. which sucks because I am a transgender and I have a stupid ****** tattoo. and I really only got this tattoo out of self harm and too scare the shit out of people who would try to attack me for crossdressing. which both methods worked wonderfully because I still have not lost a fight from while crossdressing.
I already tried to remove these tattoos which left permanent scarring and they are too big to coverup with more ink.
however I was thinking if I should tattoo beautiful queer on my left arm to counteract the stupid ****** on the right arm. anyway. I know this sounds ridiculous but I think it might be my only chance at not killing my self.
I am not a homophobe and I hope no one takes it this way . I am just a confused lost soul looking for creative advice.
Please Help, thanks
29 comments
I’ve seen some seriously amazing cover up tattoes done. If you research YouTube you might find someone with the skills to fix it. Saving money to get it done could be a goal. Its winter…well depending where you are…can you wear long sleeves to make yourself more comfortable?
I take it you’ve tried the laser removal thing? To fund this how about do some speaking gigs to high school students discussing the wisdom of getting tattoos?
Or how about prepend the offensive expression with “I am not a” and put the expression in quotes. Make it sound like someone once called you that and you’re taking the power back!
Come up with a sob story of how some bullies held you down and made you get the tattoo against your will. Bonus points if it happened in prison.
Or go the all American route: sue the tattoo artist for failing to predict your change of heart
Good luck 🙂
Is the Riot Grrrl scene still relevant? I thought that died out like 20 years ago.
Whispers is right with the cover-up idea. I’ve seen some really, really bad tattoos get transformed into something entirely different. (Like a swastika turned into an unrecognizable, totally unoffensive symbol).
Hey! Long time no see. Not sure if its good to say hey great to see you back! when one is referring to a suicide site lol but hey great to see ya back! :p
LOL. Hearing from people on suicide site:
Good -> They haven’t gone through with it
Bad -> They’re still struggling
Hi Whispers.
I’m not dead and neither are you. 🙂
You still have good powers of observation. Glad to see you didn’t lose that on you hiatus. Sense of humor still seems intact too. Yup all is back to normal on SP tonight. 😉
hi morris, good to hear from you. hope all is well. have missed you. really glad to hear from you.
Morris wasn’t on hiatus, he was *banned* from SP for troll-like behavior. Breaking the rules has consequences, who knew? Admin must not be happy that he’s still able to log in sometimes.
Yes you mentioned he had been banned. I can see admins point but I also see morris brings humor here. And its so needed :/ While he posted sexy pics that bordered on soft porn, I don’t recall him being mean to people which is how I see trolling. And the pics were funny. Ah well…either way its nice to see him show up even of briefly.
I live in florida it is hot as hell all the time so long sleeves are totally out. I got into riot grrrl years after it happended and it was a free tattoo, nonetheless I don’t really want it anymore. I might just have to start saving to find a cover up artist or have the balls to go humiliate myself on tattoo nightmares. I know with as much scarring I got under my tattoos it is going to be almost impossible to cover up. but I guess I could keep asking different tattoo artists until they say yes.
He was mean to people/rude often in comments and also in some of his posts (writing repeatedly about people who specifically requested he not write about them, et cetera). I guess you didn’t notice that. I think he had been on Admin’s shit list for a long time, those posts of provocative imagery were just the final straw. SP isn’t supposed to be a place for narcissists to entertain themselves or try to offend people. If they want to do that there are plenty of other suitable online hangouts. I’m sure that everyone who wants to help people here will agree with that.
@ theWhispersOfMySins
Nope. I know he had a personal relationship with you and you both argued on SP in front of all of us. Besides your personal fighting I never saw him be mean. And I’m not interested in arguing with you.
I guess you weren’t here long enough. 😛 He has argued with folks other than me. Nonetheless, there is a time and place for “inappropriate humor” and SP is not such a place. Cheering people up is good, but this is not an 18+ blog. If you intentionally break the rules, you have to accept that you’ll get kicked out. In the past I’ve seen people banned for things not nearly so “offensive”. Every time, though, the poster was intending to be provocative. “Feeding trolls” – that’s not the mission of this website.
Ok, why are you bringing all this up? He posted and I simply greeted him. No I haven’t seen him troll. The only fights I saw were between the two of you and frankly you both contributed to those fights which had no place here. But no one said anything cause it was between you guys who are both well liked. I have always enjoyed posts and comments by both of you. But i am failing to see how my saying hi to morris, brought on all this by you…? I feel like I’m being told I was wrong to say hi to him. I was fully aware of his being banned over the photos. I don’t see how that means I can’t say hey c4 nice to see ya. Like really??
Ok. I thought people simply believed he had quit the site for a while. Whatevah. Don’t mind me. 🙂
P.S. I’m not saying I didn’t find his posts funny, because I often did. I just understand why Admin would ban him. On an 18+ blog that is not designated to help suicidal people, probably nobody would have complained about impersonal postings of porn stars and so on. That’s where he should take his “creativity,” not here. 🙂
All this banning people and deleting things- It never used to be that way. I tried but they finally crushed my soul.
it’s always been that way ha, at least how I remember it and it’s been very close to 3 years. people like to romanticize the past (I wish it were the 90s again, the world is turning to shit blah blah) and don’t recognize the progress in the contemporary age.
@op – if you can;t affor coverup tats, why don’t you invent an impressive story to go along with the tats? The riot grrl tat was acquired when you were kidnapped by courtney love and she was experimenting with ‘living art’. ‘Stupid ******’ is your computer password, which also happens to be what you call your computer every time it crashes.
@minerva – way to hijack someone elses thread with your soap opera that frankly no one on a suicide website is likely to give a shit about. Are you going to at least PRETEND you give a shit about the OP?
@trap door – theyy cant crush your soul. they just cant.
I like Minerva, she doesn’t have malicious intentions, she’s just frustrated that others are overlooking C4’s faults instead of acknowledging them and are not holding him accountable for them, I don’t blame her for what she’s said.
We all have faults. She wants to make sure everyone on a suicide forum knows about his? I am sorry they didn’t work out but their personal opinions of each other don’t really belong here :/
I can see your point and I agree with it for the most part, but when you’re frustrated and angry with someone it’s easy to give into the urge to publicly crucify them. it’s not uncommon here *cough cough lifeless anatomy. it takes a certain kind of maturity to recognize when it’s appropriate to expose others faults or not, not saying she’s immature, i’m quite immature myself, i’m just saying it’s hard and a lot of people make that mistake so you shouldn’t blame her entirely
I’m not going to mock your situation like others here, you seem to have amassed a lot of guilt, which shouldn’t be warranted. it was a mistake to get those tattoos, but you shouldn’t blame yourself – you wanted them at one point and you followed through with your desires, that’s a good thing. before anything I think you must learn to forgive yourself, everyone makes mistakes, but yours is not irreversible. like others have said you should look into alternative solutions. riot grrrl is hot, I don’t blame you for getting that tattoo haha. be proud of your tattoos, they’re not that bad! be proud of your decisions because at one point they were what you wanted and never be ashamed of something you desire
Sorry for hijacking. The fact is, I warned him he’d be kicked out. After he was banned I also stayed off the site in support since at the time he couldn’t log on. He then told me a week ago to inform the others of his ban, so I did. But last night it seemed as though some people hadn’t known. Despite our “history” he was one of my favorite posters so yes, you can imagine I was disappointed about his ban (and the actions that lead him there). I might sound judgmental but it was *because* I had told him to be careful. Oh well.
Whatever. Sorry to the OP. I like tattoos and Riot Grrrl had awesome music, who cares if it was from the 90’s/early 2000’s? That’s almost retro now, retro is kewl.
hahaha no sympathy for bad tattoos. google cover ups.
Ok, I did ask for FRIENDLY ideas. However I understand how some of you could find my situation funny as fuck in a dark way.because it kinda is. However I have settled on adding ” I’m not a stupid ******” to the first tattoo and on my other arm Im going to get a new tattoo thats ” I am a beautiful queer”. I think this will fix the mistake and send a queer pride message instead of a self harm one.
As for the riot grrrl tattoo I think I am just going to add bikini kill on the skull part to have it make more sense inside a skull. and bikini kill is one of my favorite bands.
So It potentially looks like I am going to be left with 3 queer core/feminst tattoos . thanks for all your support I will just save up some cash and get it tattooed. thanks for giving me some good ideas and making me feel less suicidal.
I will say though I did laugh my ass off at my own post last night too. I have a dark sense humor . Even if it is ironic being directed towards myself. whatever im not perfect and life goes on. I will be one of the few people in the world with these tattoos so I guess it makes me unique which is kinda cool too. its AMAZING how much better I feel now that I have ideas on how to fix them. peace