until yesterday. Sat down to pay some bills online and what I feared was true, was. Is. I don’t have the money. Missed my first mortgage payment tonight and with a $700 oil delivery to pay for followed by a life insurance bill, electric, car insurance, then Christmas followed by it all starting over in January… I don’t see a way out of it. Even with my second part time job.
I can’t believe how badly it’s affecting me. I’m naseaus, ears are ringing, it’s a little difficult to breathe, headache.
If I up my life insurance policy by a little bit, make sure there’s no suicide clause, and catch the bus, my wife could actually pay off the house and be ok. I’m not quite there yet but definitely circling the drain. Fuck.