I am a 21 year old girl and people always like to hang out with me cause of my looks. When I tell people I’m depressed they don’t believe me cause they think I’m pretty and can have everything in the world I want. I am depressed since I was 13. I have always been nice towards everyone in my life and somehow people made use of it.
I don’t feel like I have anything or anyone to live for and don’t find anything to do I really like.
I go to University and am doing my Bachelor in IT but it gets harder and harder everyday to put up my happy face and act like I’m all fine. I have a relationship for more than a year but it’s going to come to an end because his parents don’t allow interracial marriage and would disown him if he did so. I am broken.
I don’t know what I should do anymore. I don’t want to lay in bed all day but then again I don’t want to get out of it. Sometimes I think of suicide but I’m to coward to do it. I do believe everyday is pushing me towards it and I am scared that one day I would really kill myself. I don’t have any friends that understand my situation cause they think I have it all since I have a perfect face/ body/ life in their eyes. I am just helpless and I just want to sleep and never wake up anymore. 🙁
8 comments
Having good looks does help. Mostly with helping you find a job (good looks are a huge plus nowadays) and in helping you surround yourself with the people you want (most people would fall for the looks thing without even noticing) but it doesn’t solve your life or hands you everything unless you marry a millionaire, and even then you are not assured happiness, lol. Try looking for things that makes you happy, i’ve had plenty of friends that at your age were depressed and they all had the same thing in common: they liked doing nothing (as in no hobbies) and referred to it like you do (nothing to live for, no interests, no one to live for).
The thing is, at your age most people don’t have something to live for, as i said you could look for something you like doing (most of my friends did find something when they looked long enough and it gave their life a bit of meaning), and the no one to live for thing… you don’t want to live for someone, the ideal is sharing your life with someone. If you live for someone and they leave you or go away for whatever reason, you lose everything and it’s not a nice thing (been there). You do have your boyfriend, but if he picks his inheritance before the woman he supposedly loves… i’m sorry for saying this, but you’re better off without him, lol.
My boyfriend gave me a good reason as in something to live for. He helped me to get out of my depression whenever I saw him and encouraged me with everything I did. (Like school) He made me feel good anout life and he told me he loves me more than anything and would regret the decision. He doesn’t want to hurt his parents and is used to live in a big happy family. Meaning he doesn’t want to see his kids not having cousins/ uncles/ aunties and especially no grandpa/ grandpa. He says he wants both but their parents don’t allow. He doesn’t feel good about it neither. I have always do anything to keep people around me happy but I think that love is one sided. I even told him I could leave my culture and religion behind for him… I am angry and sad. I really believed in true love and that true love could overcome everything… I just don’t know what I should do. I feel so helpless.
I am not really religious but I get mad at life so much. I never did something bad/ harmful in my life and always did things to make people happy. I just can’t think of anything why life has to hit me so hard in my face…
Thanks for making a post.
This forum can be very helpful. Well your story says something about life. that things and sometimes people aren’t always what others see. As you mention your a Young Pretty girl and go to University > that can cause people to automatically think that you have a perfect life. but people don’t know what you are going through internally. What your really dealing with and your personal inner struggles.
I am not a huge Brittany Spears fan but there is one song she wrote called >Lucky< Its about a girl who is pretty and Hollywood famous and wealthy and seems to have it all and people say about her. "that she's so lucky she’s a star but she cries cries cries in her lonely heart" and then she goes on to say "if I have all these things in my life then why do tears come at night." I like that song. I think it shows the truth about life that everybody has something to deal with. Even people who seem to have it so well have things to deal with others don’t know about.
I have met people who are wealthy and miserable. Famous people have ended their life…….powerful people and successful people sometimes deal with depression, anxiety etc…. so the truth is that anybody can come to a place where they have depression or suicidal thoughts, loneliness or just lose interest in life and want it to end.
But you can get HELP and get passed this trust me!!
Lots of people overcome this
Well I have been there myself (suicidal/depressed) and a lot of people on this site have been there or are struggling with such things currently. But there is help and support here. Some good people can give you some advice and you can make friends with people who know something about what your going through here. My situation was different from yours in some ways back when i was suicidal but still I know what its like to be in a place where depression over certain things lead me to feel like I didn’t want to go on with life. Like I was never going to find love and that I didn’t have much hope of ever finding happiness. But I overcame that and you can too.
Well the first thing I think you should do is to start believing that you Can get better and overcome this. Lots of people do. You can too. Don’t give up in your mind.
Also I want to recommend a few things. 1) try not to stay in bed all day. I know you might
feel that way with depression but try not to. Try to get up and get some exercise.
Even if its just to go out for a walk. Exercise is good for you and will help you feel better
Staying in bed all day can make depression worse. So resist the urge to stay in bed and isolate
and at least get out of the house and exercise some.
Another thing I would recommend is that you try to see if you can find a Psychiatrist to go see.
The reason why I say this is because well for one, Psychiatrists can really help and from what you have said you have been dealing with this for a long time you say this started at 13 and your now 21 that is 8 years of depression. You might need professional help at this point given its been a long standing problem and you also mention you are scared that its getting to the point where you might go over the edge and hurt yourself.
See a Psychiatrist! They can help. I see a Psychiatrist for the past year and I needed it.
and it really helped. I probably would not be alive if I hadn't gone to see a Psychiatrist my issues were so bad. They can prescribe meds that can take away the weight depression or anxiety you might have and then you will be able to have a more normal life and a clearer mind to make decisions in your life and move forward.
I really think you should look into seeing a Psychiatrist. Try to find one in your area.
If you have a regular doctor ask him if he can recommend a psychiatrist to see or use the yellow pages or the internet to search for a Psychiatrist in your area.
You say you feel like You " don’t feel like You have anything or anyone to live for and don’t find anything to do You really like." Well that will change. Trust me. I used to feel that way too but got better.
Your in a difficult position at this time but things will get better. You have to start to believe that. and then take steps to get better. You CAN get better. You will find things to live for, you will find friends and or a significant other at some point and you will find happiness. But at this time you need to get some help.
Coming here and sharing your story was one step. I have recommended a few other things for you to do. Keep us posted on how you’re doing
and if you ever want to chat one on one with me you can email me
upforever56@hushmail(dot)com
Sometimes it’s good to talk one on one with somebody
Good luck.
First of all thanks for writing so much down for me. It means a lot to me that a complete stranger would do this for me. And I really like that song by Britney Spears. I hate how people think I have it all. Once I heard a girl talking to another girl about me saying “Omg I wish I was her, she looks good and always has new clothes and can buy everything she wants.” But deep down they don’t know anything. People don’t take me serious. They’re like come on girl don’t complain so much. In fact I used work as much as I can to oppress my emotions/feelings and I try to buy anything I like to feel a bit less sad. Those things make me happy sometimes, but always temporary.
But now I have the feeling my depression is getting worser and worser. I can’t take a step out of bed and I can’t focus on anything. I procrastinate everything which also makes me feel bad as well. As you may read on the reply I left on the user above I am having struggles with a important relationship as well.
When I was young (15) my school sent me to a some teen institution that dealed with teen depression but I hated them all since they acted like they knew everything because they were an adult. And I also had the feeling they just listen because they get paid for it and in their head they’re like “you’re so pathetic”. I just have a really bad experience with this and I don’t know if I can make that step again to go to a psychiatrist…
I am tired of everything 🙁
Maey,
Those of us who don’t have perfect faces and bodies forget sometimes that those things aren’t going solve our problems and make us happy. Attractiveness sure can help, at times, but depression doesn’t discriminate — rich, poor, pretty or plain, it makes no difference (as you already know). I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I hope you can find someone to confide in face to face who will acknowledge your pain and be supportive.
OK Maey. I understand that you might have had one bad experience with that teen institution when you were 15. But that was a long time ago and that program might not have been up to par to what you needed. I had been to some like group meetings a long time ago that didnt help much. But then I found a good Psychiatrist that is really cool. He is a down to earth guy. I can talk to him one on one about anything and its all confidential. and its good to have a place to go to where you can unload your issues and you can chat and there have been a lot of break throughs in recent years with medications that can really help people.
It can be like the difference between night and day. Meaning before I went to see this Psychiatrist I had a car accident broke my neck in 2 places my car was destroyed, I had to have surgey on my neck and spine I had a dislocated shoulder I had fractures all over my body I had to come live with my mom after the accident because I could no longer take care of myself. I was so depressed. I couldnt even get out of the house for months and I thought of suicide all the time.
BUt the psychiatrist put me on some meds that took away the hopeless feelings and the anxiety & depression of all that I was going through. And then I got clarity of mind and started Physical therapy and my neck healed after some months. I started to exercise daily and now I can walk and I met some friends and I have had good times and I pulled through it all > if I hadnt seen the psychiatrist I would have just ended myself because I was so upset at having lost nearly everything and wound up having to come live with my mom at the age of 42 I mean it was sad. I got better. I found a lady to have in my life. I have been able to get out and do fun things and Now I am almost ready to go back to work and other things are turning around for me.
See I was in similar position you are in now. Severly depressed suicidal and it was getting worse and worse but the psychiatrist helped me through it. and now I am alive and I have a good life and good things happening in my life and good things on the horizon.
See you say your depression is getting worse and worse and its getting to the point where its debilitating for you. I think you should see a Psychiatrist. A one on one psychiarist and trust me it can help a lot.
They have meds they can prescribe that can remove the weight of that heaviness… you know that heavy depressed feelings. Meds can turn that down and then you can start to feel better and from there you can get back to a normal life. and you dont have to be on meds forever either. Just long enough to pull through this state that you are in where you feel depressed and more depressed and hopeless.
Please give it some thought. Psychiatry has gotten a lot better at helping people.
but I wont go over this over and over this will be the last time I mention it.
But consider it.
Also another thing that has helped me a lot is reading inspirational books
I like to read books about people who have overcome big obstacles and went out and did something awesome with their life. Books like that give me hope and keep my mind on a positive note for the future and I find so long as I keep my mind positive for the future my life moves in that direction >> Geting better
Anyway its nice chating with you. I wish you the best
Good luck
Hi Maey. When I read your message I thought it could be mine. I understand you.. I am a 23 year old girl and I am going to get my degree at the end of the year. I always succeeded in my studies. However I’ve gone through hard things when I was young my childhood was very hard actually. I tried to kill myself when I was 16. I got better when I left my parents house. Today, I am engaged with a man but we are going to break up … I left home a few weeks ago because we don’t bear each other anymore. Since then, my life became like hell. I faint to be happy when I’m with my friends but it has become so hard. Last week I tell one of my friend that i didn’t go well at all and she laughed at me and said that I was so pretty that I would find a new boyfriend soon. I know that she said that to be kind but no one can measure the pain that I feel. Sometimes I just want to tell them I want to die I want to disappear because life hurts so much.. Sorry I can’t help you, just say how much I understand you and how you feel, the fact that you have to keep your pain inside because people don’t understand how you can not go well.
Yeah I have noticed during my lifetime that relly pretty girls often are unhappy. and well I will tell you as I see it, or perceive it.
For one really pretty girls usually go through the deal where guys are always hitting on them or staring at them and often most of those guys only want one thing.
Sex with a pretty girl so they can brag to their buddies that they scored with a hottie. Its just something that happens in life. So I feel a lot of really pretty girls have been through that stuff and have to wonder if they will ever find a guy who will love them for who they are rather then just their looks. Or be with them out of love rather then just being with them to have a good looking woman on their arm to impress other guys.
I also have perceived that some pretty girls go through issues where they wonder if they will be taken seriously on an intellectual level or just be considered eye candy to have around when they get hired. stuff like that. Like did I get the job because Im qualified or did I get hired because the boss likes having a pretty girl to look at while hes at work.
I also perceive that some pretty girls often have issues with other girls. Because other girls who aren’t so pretty get jealous of pretty girls and then pretty girls have to deal with the jealosy from other women that might turn into them not liking them or even trash talking and other little things Jealous Girls do to make life difficult for the one they are jealous about.
I have seen it in social groups where the average looking girls seem to like gang up on disliking the really pretty one out of jealousy. and they want to trash talk about her or spread rumors and so forth and it gets ugly.
those are just some things I perceive
Now that of course does not mean that a pretty girl cant find hapiness. It just means that pretty girls have stuff to deal with that other people might not consider.
Anyay I hope all of us find happiness
Good luck to everybody