I thought I was going to bed, but I can’t…
So, I thought… I may rant a bit… you guys can just ignore this if ya want.
But, I don’t know what the kids at the fucking elementary school are teaching my niece and nephew to say, but if I hear the word “puta” one more fucking time I’m going to knock someones teeth down their god damned throat.
It brings up… really… bad… memories for me.
My cousins are fluent in Spanish, and well, the one who raped me… Called me “puta” when I cried about it…
and all I can hear when people say it is their voice, over and over as I was being raped “puta” thats… all… I hear…
And it fucking kills me inside, reliving it…
I fucking hate whoever taught them this word, this one word, holds so much fucking power over me. It makes me sick…
I wish I didn’t have these fucking memories. I hate them, I want them to go away, I had them buried until recently, and then this word resurfacing doesn’t make it easier…
*sigh*
I just feel sick… and angry, and sad, all at the same time…
2 comments
I hope you told the cops your cousin raped you. Then hopefully he’ll end up in jail and become someone’s puta there. I’d love to see rapists get the death penalty-I hate sex abusers with a passion…and bullies in general.
You should get some therapy-rape is a terrible and traumatic experience. If you don’t call the cops, at least tell your brother/father and they can get revenge for you…trust me you’ll feel better when he’s had the crap kicked out of him.
I was younger when it happened, and uhm… I know it sounds silly, but… a girl is the one who did that to me. It’s been a while, and I buried the memories because some people told me I was stupid for letting it linger with me.. But what she did to me is still effecting my body, and it’s weird, and I recently found out she has daughters and does the same thing to them… and I feel really horrible. I keep the warrant up, she hasn’t set foot in my state since the incident… The police said they couldn’t do anything until she’s in this state.