Life and other crap

I hate how if you don’t go to college, society deems you an “idiot” or a “failure” in life. I tried college, but it just hasn’t worked for me. It’s too fucking depressing. Everyone that I knew in high school seems to be in college, all giddy with their friends and entertaining lives. I have nowhere to go but into the limited career world that I’ve been bred into, and I’m not expecting much. I can’t do anything for long, because I become bored and just want to sleep and never wake up. Therapy is going pretty poorly. My last meeting with my therapist was perhaps the most depressing. I actually started to tear up and become even MORE unhappy. Nothing has changed in these years. Life still feels like this game we play to brag about and shove into others’ faces. It’s not going to change because life is what it is. I still admire people who commit suicide, and hope that one day I can muster the courage to take my own life. I certainly believe that people have the right to die. Perhaps the only thing that keeps me going is the idea of advancing toward the legalization of voluntary and humane suicide methods for all.