Sure, she looks like a bollywood model, but that’s not what I mean. She really cares about people. She volunteers at soup kitchens and organizes charity drives. Bad news stories involving people she doesn’t even know makes her get teary eyed. She spent a week losing sleep, tossing and turning because she was worried that I might be upset about something completely insignificant. She truly has a heart of gold.
I don’t have rose tinted glasses on. She’s a boy crazy lush like the rest of the women I know, but she doesn’t let it define her like so many others. She calls me a good friend, but I feel unworthy. I’m sitting on so much hatred, for myself and for the world around me. So I keep her at a distance. She knows tons about me, but I’ve stopped feeding her new information. How could I be her friend? I’m a monster, and she’s so beautiful.
I don’t want to bring her down anymore than I already have. She doesn’t know how much of a remorseless rattlesnake I can be, and I hate seeing her upset. She sings (poorly) when she’s happy; I love that about her. I’ve been looking for any reason to cut her out of my life because it hurts to have her so close and yet so far.
Oh Ria..
8 comments
Why in the fuck are you posting this on a suicide site? If this chick is a friend and you don’t want to be her friend then just ignore her; don’t answer her phone calls or texts, if she comes to your house don’t answer the door or give her excuses, anything. Eventually she’ll get the hint…
Did I ask for advice or make a random post? jackass
off his dick mate he can post whatever he wants;
“She calls me a good friend, but I feel unworthy. I’m sitting on so much hatred, for myself and for the world around me. So I keep her at a distance.”
This is probably why the post was made. It’s difficult to be around people who care, are sincere, etc. and your inclination is to throw up barriers. The self-imposed barriers cause more hurt because, after all, it was you who imposed them and not the other person.
I get this post. I’ve lived it.
Hey man sorry, I just saw a post you made on another page and me and you are going through the same issues with the anxiety and loneliness I apologize for being a dick.
also, just make a decision; either you cut her off or she remains — pretty straightforward
Sorry to quote something that was already quoted but: “She calls me a good friend, but I feel unworthy. I’m sitting on so much hatred, for myself and for the world around me. So I keep her at a distance.” <- That alone makes you a better friend than a lot of people that proclaim they are the best friends ever, the fact that you really care about not bringing her down, even if it affects you. Only you can make the choice of what to do, but… meh, you are not a bad friend by any means.
Actually, I have a girl that just shut me out of her life because I kept putting up barriers because of my anxiety, and it really hurt me in the end. I mean, thats really the only girl or even person I had to talk to and she was hot too, and I just completely shut her out. I feel so alone now, and it makes me wish I never treated her so bad. Anxiety is a ***** for sure, I have it bad. At first I tried to be nice and tell her I wasn’t feeling good enough to hang out, and then after awhile I started making mean and nasty comments to her that I never TRULY meant, just my anxiety trying to shut her out of my life. But the truth is, if you have even one friend you can hang out with and talk to once in awhile, it helps. Ever since I isolated myself and she shut me out of her life, Im a total wreck. Now Im even afraid to go outside unless Im half drunk. Try and keep her as a friend, it will help a little bit