im so lost

i dont know who i am any more. the people and things that i used to enjoy only serve to upset me. the magic is gone. i have no friends left and no will to make another. what purpose do i have? i cant find satisfaction any were let alone peace of mind. its like a constant screaming match in my head. nothing feels right any more, nothing feels real. im tired. i just want this to be over. i cant pull the trigger ive tried so now i just lay in bed at night crying hoping i wont wake up in the morning. this world doesnt want me as much as i dont want it