Letter to God

Should I take a nap? I am a little stressed/depressed. Not sure which one came first. I feel angry that the world is the way it is and I am the way I am. People get all of these diseases through genetics and it just isn’t fair that you made us this way. You give us purpose to solve these medical problems, but would it not have been easier on us to just enjoy your world and each other. Thank you for allowing me to cry. I felt somewhat better for a few minutes, but I still feel the same level of stress. It’s still there. God damn it! You want me to live? Why? What is this for? What is this suffering for? When does it go away. You just keep pushing me closer and closer to the edge. Why do you do this? Fuck you! God damn you. You son of a *****. I fucking hate you. I dont care that you gave me this life. It’s worthless the way I am living. You’re such a coward. You just let me be this way and you don’t care. Maybe I don’t want to go through your stupid trial. Maybe I am finished. I bet you had something really great for me planned. Well, how about I just not get there. I bet it was some kind of world changing thing. Two could play this game. Obviously you want something from me and I want something from you. Why does it have to be my move all the time. Do you want me to bow down to you despite what you’ve done to me like that fable where the man loses everything but still loves you? If that is what it takes, I will do it. You are the freaking god. I am just some stupid person that you put here for someone else I bet. (My name) commits suicide so whomever can be inspired to work a cure for depression. Is that what I’m supposed to do to make the world a better place. That’s my role, right? Change the world through my death. Well, let me sleep on it. Because part of me says fine but the other part wants to be rebellious and just say eff you. What the hell am I even doing talking to you? What am I doing.