My Sob Story

Throughout my life, I’ve been torn down, thrown to the side, laughed at, tortured, and just been made out to be a vulnerable girl. In Elementary school, I was bullied about my weight and appearance. In Middle school, I was cyberbullied and forced to have intimacy at 13. When I got to high school, I lost someone I prayed I wouldn’t lose; my own mother. I watched her become diagnosed with colon cancer and heard it spread to her liver. She hung on until I was almost sixteen. With hospice by her side and my family, I watched her pass away. I still have the terrifying memory of her taking her last breath. After she passed, I made ignorant decisions. I got in and out of relationships. I’m the type of girl who falls in love in a snap. I got with my best friend and I love him, but I left three times. Each time was for a stupid, selfish reason. But the last time I left, I got intimate with another guy. Luckily, my boyfriend took me back after my mistake fling. But I was tortured with questions. He wanted to know everything and make me pay for my mistake. My memory became unclear of the past, but seven months later, he still makes me feel worthless for that one mistake. My self-esteem has disappeared and I’ve tried ways to just leave this world because I’m a monster. I blame myself for everything and hold so much inside. I wake up and pray for a day where I’m not paying for that one mistake.