I figured I’d see if there were 101 reasons why we’re no longer friends, trying to counter the other post. Psychiatrist says I need a more balanced view of things, so here goes…
1) Me
2) Physically we’re so different.
3) You said you could never be friends with someone as vile as me. Why did I ever forgive that?
4) You are so comfortable with who you are…
5)… I will never be comfortable with who/ what I am.
6) We argued so much.
7) We’re both childish, me more so.
8) I was in a horrible place in my life when we first met.
9) You remind me too much of him.
10) I never even told you who he was.
11) You said things that were blatant lies.
12) I lied so much to you.
13) You caused me to start self harming.
14) There were times when we outright hated each other.
15) You made me forget every night we ever spent together.
16) I made you cry so many times.
17) You were ashamed of me.
18) People tried their best to split us up.
19) That huge fight with Cat.
20) You lied about that “rape”.
21) I became obsessed with you before we even met.
22) That first letter I wrote you.
23) You never took my advice.
24) So many times I told people we weren’t friends.
25) The blonde boy toy.
26) The oven.
27) St Patrick’s day.
28) You embarrassed me in front of my friends from home.
29) Your friends from home did not like me.
30) We used our mutual friends as middlemen when we weren’t talking.
31) We blocked each others numbers.
32) Neither one of us was ever man enough to say we were wrong.
33) We physically fought.
34) A good night would always become a bad night.
35) You’re too gay some times.
36) You use the word ****** too liberally.
37) We never agreed on what to eat.
38) You got my name wrong when we first met.
39) Your sexual history disgusts me.
40) My lack of sexual history disgusted you.
41) You have no appreciation for the things I like.
42) I tried too hard to like the things you liked.
43) You just let me leave.
44) You wouldn’t look me in the eye near the end.
45) You past with drug abuse.
46) You’re a hypocrite.
47) I’m a hypocrite.
48) Those days where I just wouldn’t talk to you.
49) I never let you see me cry.
50) You never took me seriously.
51) I believed everything you said.
52) We insulted each other to the point where it wasn’t funny.
53) We crossed that line and had sex.
54) Everytime we refused to go to bed.
55) We let other people tell us what was best.
56) That week where we watched tv and fell asleep on each other…
57)… That culminated in one of the worst nights of my life.
58) I never made a move.
59) Wolf whistling when you got out of the shower.
60) I never asked you for help.
61) You posted on social media about me, but never actually got in touch.
62) Distance= 150 miles.
63) So much time has passed since we last saw each other.
64) You got really awkward after I moved out.
65) I assumed things would always be fine.
66) I should have told you I wanted to move back.
67) When I said we shouldn’t be friends anymore, you just said okay.
68) I turned up covered in blood on your doorstep.
69) That letter I sent back in December.
70) We wanted different things.
71) We risked our friendship for a relationship.
72) You are broken.
73) I broke myself.
74) You complained about being lonely, even when you were with me.
75) I gave you so much and got nothing back.
76) You don’t know what you want.
77) To you, I’m just another notch on your bed post.
78) To me, you were never that.
79) You were a very small, but integral part of my life.
80) You told me you never wanted to lose me.
81) My horrible cooking skills.
82) We are too similar in too many ways.
83) Other people tried to set us up, without us knowing.
84) Being friends with you caused me to lose so much weight from stress.
85) Every scar reminds me of you.
86) Josh.
87) You push people away and complain when they’re gone.
88) You care too damn much about yourself.
89) It was only ever a game for you.
90) I could never play to win.
91) We never drifted apart, just broke.
92) You asked me to leave and not come back.
93) I spent hours just crying over you.
94) I can’t cry anymore because of you.
95) You said one thing, and did another.
96) You are unreadable.
97) I have a “clever way of saying one thing but meaning another”.
98) Your 20th birthday.
99) The morning after.
100) You laughed when I said I’d kill myself.
101) You.
This list was a ***** to write. It really was. I’m sure a lot of it is repeating itself. I said I could write a million and one reasons why we should be friends and I could barely write a 100 against that. Does that not count for anything?
Maybe it’s the opposite for you, maybe you can write millions of reasons we shouldn’t be friends. Perhaps you can’t come up with one damned reason why we were.
Zoe had G. Noodles had Louis. Adam had Cat. I thought we had each other. Maybe I was wrong.
Who do you have now?
4 comments
:'(
I know this was hard for you to write. Well done, I guess. If it’s any comfort, this list is beautiful in its own way. I hope you find peace in all your pains.
didnt read through whole thing… but it made me want to write my own about something.
Do it.