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broken

by itsme77

I have hurt a girl. Not just any girl. The girl I am madly in love with. I can’t live with what I have done to her.

I left my wife and kids for her and fell in love…..like forever love. She had been hurt and abused by men in the past. I lied to her by sleeping with my ex the day I left to be with her. I wasn’t honest about it and now she is broken. She compares my hurt to the time she was raped and left for dead under a bridge 18 yrs ago. I never meant for any of this to happen. All I wanted to do in life was to love and protect her and make her happy. Instead I have destroyed her trust and now am no different than every other guy who has abused and battered her. She has left and all I want to do is die die die die. I know it won’t solve anything for her, but I am ashamed, hurting, and truly don’t want to go on living life without her and with the grave mistakes that I can never take back. All I truly want to do is DIE but part of me is too chicken to do it. I have been holding this gun and bottle of pills for what seems like hrs. I JUST WANT THE PAIN TO GO AWAY, I WANT TO DIE!!!!!

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4 comments

secondlife 3/28/2015 - 3:11 am

You didn’t get into any details but if it’s a simple thing like sleeping with your ex, I don’t see why you can’t run back and be with this girl. Though it’s pretty awful hurting your ex-wife and kids this way.

Dunno what kind of person you are-but if you’ve fked over your wife, you’ll probably do it to the next girl too when you find someone else who’s ‘hotter’…there’s something in your genes.

Not something I’d say is worth killing yourself over, but that’s your choice. Probably better to keep living and make it up to your family or if you’re serious about being with this girl to go after her….but don’t do it if you’re only going to leave her one day also.

At my last job there was a really attractive girl I fell for…we had great chemistry and I wanted to date her. However she was engaged and a close relative of mine said if you’re not going to marry her, then don’t bother-she’s the marrying type….so I backed away….but she was an amazing catch. I wasn’t ready to settle down with anyone at the time so that’s why I didn’t pursue it but I know she wanted me also and was ready to leave the guy for me.

Salt 3/28/2015 - 6:13 pm

Hey man, first things first, take the bullets out of that gun… that never ends up well.

The game’s not over yet. She may have left, and I’m guessing your ex isn’t your biggest fan at the moment, but everything can still be fixed. Until someone dies. Feel like talking it out some more?

rocketman 3/28/2015 - 6:24 pm

itsme77,
we all make mistakes EVERYBODY! yes we can’t fix most of them, all we can do is try, and move on, today you want to die, tomorrow well? you won’t know if your dead. you need to really take some time and think about it. you can change your life.

Mf 3/28/2015 - 8:53 pm

Take a bit of time to see what you really want. And i mean, what you REALLY want, because (i’m not judging you here) you might be confusing infatuation with love. If you really care about this girl and want to be with her and commit to her (and not leave her eventually), give it your all to gain her back.

Also (i might be wrong here) you might be a bit more considerate of what your ex and kids are going through. You see it from the pov of “i hurt the girl i want”, but you also hurt your ex by sleeping with her as in “one last time before leaving”. As i said i’m not judging you and i might be wrong, but you sound a bit confused overall and not too worried about the long term consequences of everything you are doing. So step back. Take a small break. Think. FEEL. And then do what you have to do. Good luck.

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