I have hurt a girl. Not just any girl. The girl I am madly in love with. I can’t live with what I have done to her.
I left my wife and kids for her and fell in love…..like forever love. She had been hurt and abused by men in the past. I lied to her by sleeping with my ex the day I left to be with her. I wasn’t honest about it and now she is broken. She compares my hurt to the time she was raped and left for dead under a bridge 18 yrs ago. I never meant for any of this to happen. All I wanted to do in life was to love and protect her and make her happy. Instead I have destroyed her trust and now am no different than every other guy who has abused and battered her. She has left and all I want to do is die die die die. I know it won’t solve anything for her, but I am ashamed, hurting, and truly don’t want to go on living life without her and with the grave mistakes that I can never take back. All I truly want to do is DIE but part of me is too chicken to do it. I have been holding this gun and bottle of pills for what seems like hrs. I JUST WANT THE PAIN TO GO AWAY, I WANT TO DIE!!!!!