I lost my everything..

I lost my girlfriend Rebecca because I was an idiot. That is all I have ever been since I pushed her away. I hate myself everyday, I still make her cry and I don’t want to be here anymore. I love her to death but I just keep hurting her. I hate it. I hate myself. I can’t be here anymore and I don’t want to hurt her anymore. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I just want to make the world better and leave. I hate myself. I really do. Ever since then, everyone is leaving me, I have no friends, I have no one. I can’t even trust my parents anymore. I don’t know what to do, I am so confused and I want to leave….