I’m going to go by my middle name, which is Briana, i’m 16 and obviously a girl. I decided that in June, I will die.
I wanted to do it on a month when no one in my family has birthdays or anything special going on. Reason why? I don’t to ruin anyone’s ‘special’ events during that month. I have now, until June to get my sister out of the house. I do not want her there when it happens, let alone have a 6 year old find me. I am planning everything down to the time.
I’m not sure how I plan to do it, but it will happen. I’m tired of being a burden to my family, I’m tired of going through constant medical problems, i’m doing everyone a favor. I’ve spent the last 2 years disconnecting myself from friends and family so it doesn’t affect them as much. I’m making an outline for my final letter, I have my outfit, make up, hair, and nail color planned. I will have a playlist playing throughout my “great escape” and from now until then, I will attempt to do everything i’ve ever wanted to do.
I deserve to die. I don’t deserve to live. It doesn’t matter what I say to people, it doesn’t matter what I do. I’m not good enough. I’ll never be good enough. I’m just a waste of space, but it’s okay. Because soon, i’ll just be another teenager that couldn’t handle the weight of the world.
9 comments
Sweety u are so young and have so much life left to live. Im not sure what has happened in ur life for u to feel this way but things will get better. When i was ur age it was the worst time in my life but as i got older and moved out and dont talk to my dad and other people who have negatively affected my life i am happier. U should talk to.someone about ur feelings. Please dont do it. If u need someone i can be that person u can talk to
I’ve been going through professionals since I was 6, selfharmed since I was 10, I was very close to being raped when I was 10, that person tried to but failed when my mother came home and my mother still thinks i’m lying. I have schizophrenia, multiple personality disorder, bipolar, depression, anxiety, and my family really does not like me. Not to forget to mention, my friends use me for alcohol. I do coke, smoke weed, pop pills, smoke a lot of cigarettes, and i’m kind of an alcoholic tbh. I fake my emotions every day so people will leave me alone. My body is disgusting, and I deserve to die okay. I’m a piece of shit. Hell I’m a highschool drop out because I couldn’t handle the bullying and I couldn’t handle myself anymore.
Idk what’s happened in your life, but hey you mentioned a sister? I find that when I’m feeling like I am going to kill myself, surrounding myself with my siblings helps greatly! She doesn’t have to know what’s going on, you said she’s six she probably wouldn’t understand anyway! Keep yourself distracted and hold on to the people you love the most because they WILL pull you through this! I care about you and if you kill yourself, the world will have one less amazing person in it!
Hugs!
Yeah, my sister is the greatest thing that ever happened in my life. I love her to death. She’s been the only thing keeping me going, and i thought about her when writing this. But the thing is, I have an older sister and brother. She has them to look after her. Me being there is easily replaced with them.
You shouldn’t care much and you are really NOT doing anyone a favor by doing something like this.
From the sounds of it your family could use to be a bit more caring or understanding, after all it’s what they are supposed to do.
You are not a burden, it’s not your fault you are suffering.
Cigs, drugs, alcohol, i might not know much but i would assume these will only make things more difficult on you, especially with everything you’re suffering through already, But these are things that are possible to stop using.
You’re not a waste of space.
Your body is not disgusting.
You don’t deserve to die.
You have been through a lot, but this plan on it’s own is difficult, and if you don’t manage you might end up in more of a mess.
I’m just tired of everything. Is it honestly worth living? I can’t do anything special, there’s nothing great about me, i’m just another statistic
Honestly, i can’t say for sure. Life to me seems like a bunch of nonsense.
But, you did say you are going to attempt to do things you want to do. So there might be some stuff left for you to stay for.
I’m sure there are good things about you, don’t be so unfair on yourself.
I don’t know what you would define as special, but i’m pretty sure you can still do plenty of things.
I’ll think about it.
you can do it stay strong you are 16!!! you got a WHOLE life ahead of you .. don’t do it please.. you might think that no one loves you but they do! your family and your sister you cant traumatize her! don’t do it for your self do it for the lovely people that surround you . with love, M.R.