so my self harm has started becoming a big problem. the last month ive started to scare myself on how dependent I am on it, how deep Im pushing… how vivid the thoughts of suicide are.
I asked my tutor if counselling could be kept a secret from my mum, ive hid everything from her for the last few years and I don’t want her to know im not her happy little girl anymore. but I need help- even I can see that.
so my tutor ( a psychology teacher who has already suggested counselling) sat me down and we talked, id been on the verge of an anxiety attack all day so I was tired, faint, desperate and not thinking and blurted out that im harming again, that im sick of wanting to die and Im getting out of control.
he marched me off to head of sixth, got me referred to CAMHS again ( I stopped going 3 years ago after they told my mum I was harming) and got a number for some other lady to see ASAP.
what if they end up saying stuff to my mum? what if I become a ‘problem child’ again? if word gets to my mum it’ll be the thing that’ll push me off the edge… all I wanted was help… what if ive just set myself on a self-destruct course?
2 comments
Why is it so bad if your mom knows, especially if you’re going to try and get help for it?
I don’t know your mom or how she might react, but, if things are getting worse on you and out of your control, the focus should be on getting you help rather than what she might think of you (which might change back to normal later anyway).
Right now the main concern should be getting you to feel better.
Well, if she finds out it may be for the better, certainly not the worse thing to happen, that’s to not seek help; the most important thing is getting the help you require, in fact that is essential. If your mum does ask you about it, tell her the truth, it doesn’t mean you’re a problem child, just someone who needs help. Let me tell you something, a vast number of people need help at some point in their lives, even much older people such as myself need help with suicidal thoughts, etc. and it takes strength to open up about it. Also tell her you are not alone in self-harming, again a lot of young people, sadly, find it helps them through stress and the difficulties of life. Your mum must know keeping all this to yourself will allow it to get worse, you must let her know you want help to fight it and to get the counselling you so desperately need.