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answer to suicide?

by khajiit

I recently read an article online that cited that a new medication has been developed and approved by pharmaceutical industries to be distributed. According to the source (which I will post below) the medication targets certain receptors in the brain that even contemporary medicine has been unable to target. Apparently it has a very high success rate and in 90% of trials it has mitigated suicidal thoughts and assuaged depression, I think the name for it is “merdecerol”. I’ve been on medication for almost the entirety of my depression and I’m really hoping this is the cure I’m looking for, most medication has bad side effects, at least the ones I take like weight gain, hair loss etc. Apprently the only side effects are occasional moodiness and occasional constipation which I’m fine with. I don’t know how readily available it is though since it is a nascent medication and only recently approved. I forget what it’s compounds are, Apprently similar properties as Zoloft as that’s what its base was synthesized from. According to the reviews it has made patients “feel like Jesus spoke to them and told them to ‘get a fuckin job and stop jerkin’ to skrillex porn I didn’t die for this’ and ‘start playing the triangle and make dubstep covers on YouTube’ ”  Sounds pretty good to me, if anyone gets on it can you give me your personal review?

 

 

JUST KIDDING APRIL FOOLS LIFE IS A JOKE

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12 comments

DuZo 4/1/2015 - 9:51 am

Hm….

Skrillex porn huh? xD

LifelessAnatomy 4/1/2015 - 10:12 am

I could tell this was going to be sarcasm, which Tbh actually makes me sad beca use it would be amazing if that drug exist. I actually don’t really have a reply or a retort to this.

schizophrenia 222 4/1/2015 - 4:56 pm

Nothing on google

5 seconds of stendarr 4/1/2015 - 7:53 pm

that’s because it’s so new and not well known

Morris 4/1/2015 - 5:11 pm

The merdercerol part was pretty clever.
Just add “cerol” to whatever new drug Big ****** comes up with.
Suiciderol?
Suicidametaphin?
Suicidaphuys?
Suicidacillin?

How many fake anti-suicide medicines can you find a name for? 🙂 (Yours was solid).

copelessness 4/1/2015 - 6:31 pm

Sadafed
Dielenol
Sadvil
Exdeadrin
Alcohol
Expirin
Diequil
Sufferin
Robosufferin
:p

Morris 4/1/2015 - 6:44 pm

Haha. Dielenol.
Solid.

5 seconds of stendarr 4/1/2015 - 7:50 pm

‘merde’ means shit in French i’m pretty sure

Morris 4/2/2015 - 9:12 pm

Oh, ok. I thought you were intentionally mispelling murder. (Merder).

5 seconds of stendarr 4/4/2015 - 3:00 pm

that was also why, it seemed to fit nice together

cryingflying 4/1/2015 - 8:00 pm

playing the triangle and being a dick

BlackOutAlice 4/4/2015 - 4:40 pm

Shit it was an april fools joke? WTF am i suppose to do with this bottle of merdecerol??? help

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