Day 2 no meds. I’m starting to feel again and I feel a sense of rage. It’s like my body is starting to shake inside from my suppressed anger. Anger because I am one of those dickheads who always puts people first. I am always trying to figure out how to please people.
You know what!? You can’t please anyone and no one can please you. Being content and happy comes from inside. I know this, I fucking KNOW IT deep in my core. But for some reason I am constantly looking for someone, someone who will take my love, someone who will give me love.
Well you know what. There’s no one out there. I’m sorry to burst the bubble. Everyone wants something for themselves. Very FEW people are looking to give just for giving sake. Everyone has an agenda, a motive, a reason for giving you their time. Make no mistake.
Unconditional love is a rare thing in this world. I had it to give once… But now I am not so sure love fucking hurts. It destroys people. Just look at the forum. Everyone is looking for love and acceptance… Friendship and respect. Damn we can’t even get that. Let alone REAL DEEP Unconditional love- which has always been my fucking quest in this bullshit existence. It’s never gonna happen.
The only way to survive is to love yourself, becomes selfish. Look after yourself and suddenly you will find people grovelling at your feet!