so it seems my options now are go to live in the new mexico desert, in a bedbug-infested trailer with my sister and her husband, who can barely support themselves… or stay here with my parents, in a home of alcohol and violence, where nothing will ever change. i have to choose one or the other by the 2nd. i’m not feeling very hopeful about my future, needless to say.
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That’s not much of a choice if you ask me. I wish you had a third option that was better. But between the two, I would choose the bedbugs over alcohol-fueled violence. It might give you some time to find the third option you need.
well, my third ‘option’ is suicide. i’ve been wanting to do that now for a very long time. however, i worry about where that will leave my family. but to kill myself is more appealing to me than either of these options. i just need the shit to end, or get less painful, but it never does. i’m in a constant state of anxiety over everything and i just need it to stop.
I would think wherever you could find work would be the best. I am in a similar situation, where you just gotta pick the lesser of the two evils. They both sound bad, so workingtwo jobs would keep you away from “home”. Maybe you could be slightly dishonest on your pay, hide it and get out quickly. I agree with worthless_loser Good luck!
well, there’s not really much hope of me finding jobs either here or there. also i have to finish school first but i don’t know if i could live in either situation for that long.
There are stars in the sky. There’s a dog outside barking. I feel my fingers hit the keyboard. This has nothing to do with your situation. I have no idea what I could say to you. The sun just peaked from behind a cloud.
this choice is really difficult. i am sorry you are going through such hell. If you are not able to make a choice , then maybe tossing a coin will help you. if the tail comes then that but if head comes then the other.
There’s a Zen teaching about tossing a coin. You have your two choices and a coin. Heads this way. Tails that way. Now toss the coin into the air. As the coin flips in the air most likely you’ll start hoping for one side to come up and not the other. So, before the coin even lands, if you listen to yourself, you’ll know.
Ahh @Randall, I can’t help but feel we are kindred spirits. I find your comments, humor and insight always delightful.
And if you’re slow, throw it off a cliff and think about it while you go retrieve it 🙂
On the surface, the trailer sounds better – it’s change, and they’re closer to your age. But really, it’s probably better wherever you’re more safe from yourself.