I was offered a new job today that was by all means a great opportunity. I felt so hollow accepting cause it meant I’d be alone there, when I’m alone every other way.
My on/off partner is interstate, I moved away from him after he kicked me out. It’s been 2 years he has promised me he would move here with me, but always seems 6 months more away. I left my family and friends due to this and yet when I visit them I don’t feel anything.
The bulk of my day when I don’t work I fantasise about my own death. I even walk alone late at night hoping someone will attack me. It’s kinda funny people think I’m so functional.
As I see it it’s a good choice to end it. I did well in my life. I had an abortion of a baby I wanted this year, but i can honestly say beyond that I have no regrets. It all comes down to how. I’ve tried and failed so many times before