“Are you OK?”
I’m sick of hearing this question. No, obviously I’m not OK. But this doesn’t mean that I’m ready to share whatever is killing me with you.
I’m purposeless. I’m lost. I’m continuously crying. I’m craving for some love. I’m craving for someone who just makes me feel home.
But I don’t get this. I only get strange cold stares from people I meet everyday because I have to. I see the pity in their eyes. I can almost feel it filling the room whenever I walk by.
I just want to vanish and recreate a life of mine, a total new one, where no one would have any preformed opinion of me.
No I’m not OK. I’m this close to kill myself but it doesn’t work out every single time. Even death doesn’t want me. There is nothing more miserable than this. Why should I live? Why should I continue babbling right now when the intended persons do not listen to my babbling? Why is any of this happening to me?