i’m so done with life. i have been for a very long time now. thing is i don’t have the guts to do myself in. i wish i did, then my suffering would have been over a very long time ago. i’ve had people, family who were supposed to love me, tell me that they hate me and hope i die. well good for them. i’ve ceased to matter to anyone and i don’t care anymore. i want to be out of here, not because they want me to be, but because i want to be. fuck all the rest. if only i had the guts. the longer i wait the worse it gets, but dammit i just don’t have the guts!!! don’t know if it’s because i’m a girl or what, but somebody, please, if you wanna help me, tell me how i can get more guts to do this!