How am I to feel.

Everyday it seems like an endless struggle. Every morning seems harder. In all honesty, there are days where I close my eyes and think, well I wish this was it. To just fall asleep and never wake up. This is just a rant to let go of what I feel for now and maybe one day I will truly tell my story but for now this is what I feel & I don’t think I should be feeling it. I feel hopeless and worthless. I feel like I have failed in everything. All the people I trusted with my story have left. How am I to trust anyone again? My parents, oh my parents. what a mess they have made  me. How many nights and Mornings I have cried for the shit they tell me. No one should cry so much for the things a parent says. I have written suicide notes already. It’s over powering at points and I try to sleep it off but how long do you have until it fully takes over? I have always been a procrastinator but at one point it will happen. Life isn’t getting easier as everyone says. Breathing is getting harder and I only wish to sleep but then again what else can I feel.