but its just so hard….. I suffer from manic depression and existential anxiety. two days ago, I stood by a main road and contemplated jumping in front of a car. my mind told me that I wanted to die, but it also told me that I might die, and I was afraid. my father ran to me and pulled me away. my mom is mainly the reason… she hits me and tells me im worthless. I don’t tell the authorities because every time I try my mom says that she know how to hit me in ways that wont leave a mark and that they wont believe me…. I’ve tried several times to kill myself, I had a plan and everything. but every time I would chicken out. I don’t want to hurt the people I love, but I’m afraid that one day the urge will be too strong and that I might go through with it…
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
5 comments
I’m not sure how to reply
but
I (as the majority of people on this website) struggle with depression as well from the effects it can have. Whether it be from traumatic events or chemical imbalances, we all share the pain of what this can do to someone.
I’m glad that you chickened out, because facing everyday is the real brave thing to do, so really you’re brave 🙂
I debated for the longest time about suicide but I found my answer, which is to live for the people in my life and not necessarily for myself.
Why doesn’t your dad do something about her? Does he knows what happens? I’m not sure how old you are, but worst case you deal with it for however long you have left and try to leave that situation.
But leaving the situation won’t help the scars done mentally/emotionally, so I would still say to go to a counselor (I have to admit though I’m being a bit of a hypocrite here).
Please continue to have your strength to face every day. Finding coping methods and ways to distract your mind is very helpful. I’m here if you ever want to talk.
Hi 🙂 I can tell you need a friend. My email is andrewholstein1@gmail.com
and my kik is Kalmahavak
I hope to be your friend! 😀 and that goes for anyone here that needs a friend, don’t be afraid to message/email me 🙂
im actually 18, and my parents are separated. I wont be in this situation for very long, hopefully, because once I graduate, im moving in with me girlfriend
I was going to cut today, but I didn’t. I felt better after ripping up some paper
If you have a hopeful solution (i.e- moving away from your mother and with your GF),
can you try and keep that in mind when you think about suicide?
I find that hoping for improvement in the material world is helpful sometimes.
(though not always, my brain is very smart reminding me that I am stuck with myself where ever I go. {I do argue back based on experience that when conditions in life like living arrangements, or changing a job make a world of difference and in the past changes like that have helped me feel relief}).