My fiance, boyfriend, whatever I should call him is it. Just makes me want to do violent things to myself. Screaming at the top of his lungs that I’m a monkey, a c#nt, a cow. Im so infuriated I want to just jump out of the car. I want to go running screaming at the top of my lungs, I cant take it anymore.
I read a man in Japan last Christmas jumped off the third floor of a mall, to his death, because his girlfriend wouldn’t stop shopping.
That’s how I freakin feel. It makes me to want to die . I dont understand why this pwrson is like this. Two and a half years we have been together. If he gets mad, he will kick me out of the car at two am, no money, no phone, telling me he hopes I get raped and murdered.
He saved my life. I tried to kill myself and subsequently went through alcohol withdrawals. He fucking kept me alive, I didnt ask for it. I have no memory and i just think differently now. Words are scrambled.
Whether its brain damage from hard core drunking for ten years and drugs, or the lack of oxygen to my brain, idk idc.
How do I smile at this person? Why do I forget after a few hours that this is how it always is? I work with him, we make great money, but I cant have a penny for myself.
I dont have a fucking friend in the world, and no family.
I’m not throwing a pity party, and i know everyone else has way worse shit, but its nice to get it out.
FML
14 comments
tell him to sit the fuck down and close his mouth and then slap him upside the head for acting wrong.
About 4 yrs ago I was desperate for a job-you have no idea how desperate-I was a matter of months of ending up on the street-which to me is worse than suicide. Anyways, I lucked out, got a job and just barely-because I was overqualified but convinced them to give it to me anyways.
So I was very grateful to this manager (never told him, he never knew), for giving me this job which basically saved my life….but then this manager turned out to be a major a-hole, then kind that you’d want to beat the crap out of. I put up with his BS because I needed the job and things are much better now.
However my point here is that just because your bf at one time saved your life, doesn’t mean you owe him anything anymore. You’ve paid your dues-I’m sure you’ve done a lot for him. The next step is that he’ll start physically abusing you and it only gets worse from there. He puts your life in serious danger by kicking you out the car at night, he takes all your hard-earned money, umm what’s there to figure out here really?
I’m not being facetious-but just connect the dots, he’s a rotten lowlife who steals from you and treats you like a piece of shit. Don’t you think just maybe you’d be better off without him in your life? Please don’t give me this crap about ‘love’ and that he’s your ‘fiancée’….kick his ass to the curb.
@Wildone you need to stop. if you call him a rotten lowlife you need to leave this website right now. you will not say to kick his ass to the curb. you need to stop talking.
Initially I thought you were being humorous with your other posts, now I just think you’re mentally deranged-just STFU sgfire and stop stalking and responding to my posts. You nutjob.
@wildone you don’t see the similarities between how you talk to me right now and the posters abusive man in her life? do you not see how you call me mentally derenged and a nutjob and characterize me falsely and cowardly as a stalker and he calls falsely and punitively a cow a monkey a slut? You need to sit down and shut up.
@sgfire1234
Everyone agrees with me here you filthy maggot-I don’t see you going after them. First you defend him and attack me for calling him a lowlife, then you saying I’m just like him? Do you see the idiotic contradiction here you fkg lunatic?
Probably not-I’m sure you have some sort of mental disorder…which only means it’ll be that much easier to expose you for the crazy retard that you are. I can see why you’re on a site like this-bet you pissed off everyone in your life with your psychotic behaviour and now you’re deathly alone-bugging sane people. I don’t think this site is for you-you should be in a psyche ward with people like yourself.
@Wildone. You do not need to stop. You’re right about this guy. She needs to get out of his car and stay out.
Thanks no worries-I don’t let wackos like sgfire get to me.
Abusive people never change. They only get worse.
And they are always very very sorry, or so they say.
You have a friend here, I’ll listen.
Keep writing.
Thank you very much for that. I just have no one, my best friend died last year, from alcohol withdrawals. I cant exactly tell him whats going on with me, so I just live with it, constantly wondering if it is all my fault and I deserve this. He says these things to me and yells at me right in front of people we have to see again, its so damn embarrassing.I wish someone else could just see or hear any of this s#!! and tell me if im nutso or not. Plus we havent had sex since the February bwfore last. Thank you for reading and responding Cephalus.?
No one deserves to be abused. It matters not if its physical, verbal or emotional. Its not your fault. I’m sure others here have gone through what you have. I’ve dated girls who were both physically and emotionally abused. It takes a toll, you probably don’t even realize right now. My ex forgot years of her life and suffered from panic attacks after. She was able to move on and find love.
Don’t sell yourself short. You were able to communicate your pain. Not a small feat, not something everyone is able to do.
If you can’t talk to anyone, talk to us. Were here. It doesn’t mean you have to listen to the any advice given. Use your brain. I trust it.
Save yourself, @DeSuehill. Get out of this relationship now. Perhaps find another job first, but your mental health and well-being are worth everything. Don’t let this abusive person threaten that anymore than he already has. Believe me, it won’t stop. It will only get worse. Be strong. You’ve come this far. You can do it!
Why the fuck are you even with this guy? WildOne is right, he’s a total lowlife who doesn’t deserve to be with anyone at all. It would be MUCH better to be alone than put up with that level of abuse. He wants you to get raped and murdered? Jesus Christ. He sounds like your pimp, not your ‘fiance’.
Who cares if he saved your life once, you got to save yourself now, darlin. Abusive men don’t change they only get worse. Your a strong woman to put up with this shit, your a survivor you can make it in the world without him. He’s a ****!!