I don’t know anymore. I’m not the person I used to be. I’m someone completely different. Now I just wanna be alone. I get panic attacks. I have really bad social anxiety. It is true what they say, you don’t know what you have until its gone. When I was 9 my mom died and everything just changed. I didn’t even go to her funeral. Slowly this emptiness started growing inside of me. I became kinda lonely and just really sad. There are times when I can’t handle it anymore and just get so sad that I just start thinking about suicide. Honestly, I believe in heaven and hell and I believe that if I decide to kill myself I will go to hell and will never see my mom again. I wish everything was alright but you can’t always have what you wish for.