Music, like Life

223

I used to get ear and throat infections all the time when I was a kid. One usually lead to another because the ear and throat are linked by the Eustachian tube. One time I didn’t bother to get antibiotics so I ended up with permanent tinnitus (ringing in the ears). I usually don’t notice it, but the tinnitus can get pretty loud if the room is silent.

I used to always have music playing so I wouldn’t hear the ringing in my ears. After my sister died, I stopped playing music almost entirely. I started thinking: people aren’t really afraid to die. They are afraid of being deprived of the ability to enjoy life, and there is a big difference. Thats why people who are afflicted with diseases may ask to be euthanized. I am un-afflicted, but I no longer have an aversion to (tinnitus or) death; and music, like life, has lost its lustre. I think that is the most elegant way that I can describe my motivation for suicide

http://f7p67p7ifcui.blogspot.ca/