I have lost the love of my life. The only woman I have ever truly loved and truly loved me. I waited 36 years for her to come into my life. She was my everything. Everything I ever wanted and needed.
I don’t understand why most people insist on telling me to “move on” and that “there are plenty of fish in the sea” and other cliché nonsense like this. I am aware of this. I know I could get someone else.
Why do people not understand that I don’t want to find anyone else? Who could ever compare to her? She was not perfect. No one is. But she made me happy. For the first time in my life I knew what it was like to feel happy.
Why do people assume that it is love I’m missing or seeking? Or intimacy and companionship? The simple answer is this: I miss her love, her intimacy and her companionship. Those feelings belong to her and only her. No one else.
I can’t stop loving her and wanting to be with her. It’s the only thing I think about every second of every day. And yet I know I will never see her ever again. I’m stuck in this position forever.
Without the possibility of happiness and joy, what is the purpose of life? What is the meaning? Pointless and useless. The will to live is gone. My time is coming to an end. I can feel it.
11 comments
I know how you feel man, losing someone who meant so much to you but frankly you’re gonna find someone twice as good it may not be tomorrow or the day after but soon. have faith.
mockingjay, thanks for reading and posting a comment. I know you are in a similar situation and that your intentions are to be helpful. I’m glad that regardless of your pain and disappointment over your own terrible situation, that you have the desire to one day meet someone new and hopefully better. I think it’s great, I really do.
But, you must have missed the part in my post where I repeatedly say that I do not want to find someone else. Better or not. Even twice or three times better. I only want her. Even if women were throwing themselves at me, it wouldn’t matter. I have only eyes for her. Now and forever. Can you please understand that?
worthless_loser 73 ,
“I don’t understand why most people insist on telling me to “move on” and that “there are plenty of fish in the sea” and other cliché nonsense like this. I am aware of this. I know I could get someone else.”
Sorry that would be me! I’m the bad guy! worthless_loser 73 honestly if I had a magic wand I’d use it for you, I wish I did 🙁 , the only advice I can give is one if you can get her back then do it, if not then you need to move on, being stuck in hell isn’t a good place to be, I want you out of there! you will find some else if you try, don’t believe you never will.
rocketman, I certainly didn’t mean to offend you with my post. I’m sorry if I did. It wasn’t intentional. As you can see from the other comments, people that keep insisting on telling me that I will find someone else, are well-meaning.
Again, to all that insist on telling me that, both here and in real life: I know that if I wanted to I could find someone else. I get that. I don’t WANT to find anyone else. She was the ONE for me. Hence my continued and never-ending desire to see her and be with her. If it was possible for me to feel a different way, then I wouldn’t be here, would I? Sometimes there is no cure and there is no fix. Sometimes a condition is permanent. Sometimes you are just doomed. Why is it so hard to understand that?
Hey man, sorry but it doesn’t help calling yourself ‘worthless loser’. What self-respecting woman is gonna be with someone who puts himself down like that? Sorry I don’t mean to be harsh, and she is a fortunate person to be so adored and appreciated but please give yourself a ghost of a chance of being loved back by not calling yourself nasty names?
I honestly don’t mean to be mean.
louise52, no offense taken at all. You are exactly right in what you said. Maybe one of the reasons she left was that I was a loser. But the interesting part is that she went back to the same guy that she left to be with me almost 6 years ago. And one of the reasons she left him in the first place was because he was a loser, too. So go figure how now she thinks he is a winner and I’m the loser. Ridiculous if you ask me.
louise52,
you are so….. right! Sorry people on hear with nasty names 🙂
The truth is you are what you think you are, YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT!
To end that cycle you need to think about positive things.
I understand your pain! I’m in the same situation. Never had anyone else til my girl came into my life. She loved me, built a life together with ne. Now after 4 years she’s just done….and my soul is on fire, I’m being torn from the inside out. Hate when people tell me to move on too. It’s not another love we want, we want their love, that person’s touch, kiss, sleep next to you, you just want them in your life. I wish I knew how to ease your pain, but I can’t even ease my own…I just wanted you to know that I know what you’re saying/feeling. Just try and take it one second at a time….
CRA2015, thank you so much for reading and posting a comment. I’m sorry to hear about your situation, too. It sounds very similar to mine. I’m afraid that pain such as ours will never be erased or even diminished. The only person that could possibly help, is the one that is causing all of it in the first place. I hope that you, unlike me, still have your will to live intact. That is all you need to get through this type of never-ending pain. Unfortunately, mine is gone. Thanks again for sharing and understanding. I appreciate it more than you know.
My pain isn’t going anywhere…. I think of her every second of everyday. I can’t be with her, she’s ” done” and all I want is my lil family I had with her, our dog, and me. She was everything I wanted, I don’t want another woman in my life. I read what you say and its like reading my own feelings. The pain is so much, so strong all the time. I wake up when I can fall asleep and sob with the realization of my situation. I wish I could give strength and help, I’d never want anyone to feel like I do, but you already do. I told her I’d kill myself and she doesn’t care, she won’t stop me, wont save me. The only thing keeping me breathing is the little tiny microscopic piece of hope that my lil family will be together again one day, but I don’t see how, and my will to live is fading fast. I wonder if she’d stop me if I walked to her house with a gun, knocked on the door and blew my brains out….I wonder if she’d care then about my pain, but it’d be too late. I’m lost and hurt….I wish there was pain for people like us.
Okay, I was with you until that last part. Feel what you want for her, but do you really want to hurt her? Do you want her to live with that guilt? That is selfish and kind of sadistic. If you’re going to do this and you really care about her, you should do everything in your power to make sure she never finds out. Let her know you’re doing better and have a good outlook and then wait a while so you leave her mind completely.