I wonder if I’ll make it. I barely survive. I do not know what to do or who I truly am. I feel at the core of me jealousy for those who survive but also I need them to survive. I think they deserve everything they have and need, wish I could give them more.
This all feels meaningless when we think about the corners of our heart that keep wearing down, rounded by time, as rocks by the sea, to slide more seamlessly as the tides overwhelm.
I do not know that the love I have is enough to keep me here. I struggle and I stay and that’s more than many can say but it is not enough some days.
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It may sound bullshit when I say, I know EXACTLY how you feel. But it’s true, I do… WE do. The only difference is the situation we are in. But the pain? I think WE all feel the same pain. The suicidal thoughts? Feeling like shit? more than a shit, actually. The constant feeling of being worthless? oh man, You are not alone. I know most of the time, life is absolute worthless and nothing but you know some day… maybe not today, not tomorrow, not next week, not next month, not next year nor the next decade but ATLEAST you matter to your family, your friends… you may NOT KNOW IT BUT YOU DO. YOU FUCKING DO, DUDE. You matter. So, stay strong. and stay with us.
I feel like I want to know more about your story.
like what?
I don’t know, humour me and give me the short version. How did you get to this point?
Thank you for staying as long as you have. Stay longer.