No matter how many people try to argue the contrary, our society and culture thrives on superficiality, the idea that how we look quantifies our objective worth is the most widespread knowledge propagated and perpetuated. I was born with intrinsic ugliness, not quite deformed but my facial features are distinctly warped and exaggerated to the point of being undesirable and to be honest, quite repulsive. Naturally people are drawn to beauty – don’t even try to deny it. People are primarily drawn to celebrities because of their conventional aesthetic superiority to most people, if they have a good personality it is amplified and glorified, giving it far more romanticism and credit than it deserves.
Life sucks being ugly, it sucks being ostracized because of the parts of me I can’t change, it sucks being overlooked and generally neglected and ignored. My father never truly loved me and to this day refuses to connect with me on a personal level and I’m convinced it’s because I’m hideous – there can’t be any other answer, I would say I have a generally compatible personality, I have a basic amount of intelligence, I achieved well in school and have the same traits as my brothers who he constantly engages with and interacts with. They are actually good looking which makes my situation a joke more than anything. Both of my parents are decently good looking as well, so I don’t understand how I got the shitty end of the stick.
But anyways, people completely and overly romanticize beauty and lionize it if anything. Being beautiful entails an impressive panoply of benefits. People are naturally drawn to you – you don’t even have to be especially charismatic and people will approach you, there are general biases like people more quick to sympathize with you, side with you no matter your argument and generally treat you better.
I forget when it occurred, but there was once an article that described a criminal who was just arrested but he was abnormally good looking so people on twitter and social media completely glorified him, talking about how they would bail him out, wanting to marry him, all that other crap because he was good looking. There was also that stupid “Alex from Target” pathetic joke that went around glorifying a completely average kid with no talents of abnormal characteristics that would justify him being popular and famous – he was just good looking.
It depresses me so much knowing I’ll never be noticed, that I’ll never stand out and be adored. I’ll never be in a group of people and be special, I’ll always be the ugly dog that makes the rest of the group look that much prettier. It sucks I’ll never be seen as endearing or cute, that I’ll always be an eyesore that people just want out of their sight. I’ll never be sexy and in fact I’m be the epitome of the thing that turns everyone off, I can only serve as the remedy for morning boners and that’s it. I’ll never be liked or have the perks of being pretty, and in fact I’ll experience the opposite. If I applied for a job like being a cashier they likely wouldn’t hire me because ugly people turn people off and if customers are turned off they probably won’t like the store as much as they would if their array of cashiers were pretty.
Life sucks.
13 comments
Life is definitely unfair. You’re right, life is even tougher for ugly people and fat people.
I guess if you’re ugly and/or fat, your chances for success would increase if at the very least you’re smart.
Fat, stupid and ugly is a recipe for failure. Try to stay slim and get good grades. Good luck.
Man, you should be like rose odonald whoopie golberg, or donald trump, hugh heffner, steve jobs, steven hawkin. you know what these guys have in common? they are not the greatest looking but they dont fucking care, they made it to the top by not fucking caring and they do better than the rest of us, you know the secret? not given a shit. Find the people closest to you in life, hold on to them and say to fucking hell with everybody else. like fuck it sten, you do you, work it sister, live and love. we got you
it’s hard not to give a shit when it actively infringes on your life and affects every aspect of it. do you know what it’s like to be ignored and treated like you don’t even exist? and when people are forced to notice you it’s awkward because your appearance makes them uncomfortable? it fucking sucks
Honey, sometimes we have to realize that the best thing in life is to be kind to ones self despite what is occurring in the rest of the world.I know, sometimes it feels like we need the approval from the rest of the world, we feel like we need validation. but that isnt always the case, i hope you have people closest to you, talk to them lean on them and try to stand apart from everything else. Autonomy can really be crucial in finding happiness
I have been rejected and treated like shit my whole life, so I know exactly what it feels like! I’m not interesting in status or popularity because it’s all a bunch of bullshit! I wouldn’t mind having some more money, so I can take more vacations! I may not be able to survive this aea thing that I am into much longer, but I try to do as much as I can to make my life better and live out as comfortable as I can and do as much as I can that will make me feel happier! It helps to get a cat because they don’t judge you and believe in unconditional love!
You have to remember that ultimately beauty is subjective – everyone does not have the same ‘standards’ of attractiveness. It usually varies by culture and personal taste. There are plenty of actors and actresses out there who may not fit a universal standard of beauty, per se, but they have fans regardless who do find them attractive (Benedict Cumberbatch is one example).
Growing up I would sometimes look at my best childhood friend and wonder if my appearance was lacking compared to their model good looks. They could have easily been a Hollywood celebrity on that cause alone. However, I came to realize that my friend did not possess the measure of intelligence that I could perceive of myself. They were a fun, outgoing person who people liked being around, but they would never be at my level intellectually. With that I drew the conclusion that we all have our own strengths.
Over time I also became accepting of my own more exotic looks, and my appearance improved as I grew older as well. So, don’t lose hope, if you’re still a teenager your facial structure will likely change slightly when you enter your twenties.
I think the key as well is becoming confident and saying “I am who I am”. Others will feel more comfortable around you if you are comfortable with yourself.
beauty is subjective, yes, but there is still a universal standard that exists in all cultures: symmetry, proportions, shape and characteristics. I possess none of those, i’m genuinely ugly on all levels. thanks for your insight though I appreciate it
I’m female btw which makes it so much worse because women are pressured to be beautiful and sexy far strongly than men. ugly women are the trash of society according to culture, they’re something people turn their heads the other way to, that or become an object used to increase the self esteem of others through comparison. there can’t be winners without losers and it’s always nice to know you’re so far ahead of someone in the game of life. it sucks being the lowest of losers.
Then its settled, go put on some lipstick and head out into the world to kick some man ass, prove that stereotype wrong women are not objects we are the elite lifeforms, time to take back the throne
Hi SS, no arguments here. You completely nailed our society. I was just thinking about it this morning… Not just tv & movie stars but artists going back thousands of years have always glorified the “perfect” beauty, defined by perfect symmetry, moderate proportions and soft angles. For anyone who doesn’t have that (which, ironically, is 90% of the population) life is a constant struggle to fool people in to thinking you do.
Sure, the ideal solution is to be proud of yourself no matter what ideal you’re measured against. But life isn’t about ideal solutions. So what else can you do? Answer: cheat.
I might catch hell for suggesting this because there was recently a thread about it… But why don’t you take the best picture of yourself you can, then photoshop the living daylights out of it, upload it to your facebook profile and have some fun being one of the “pretty people”? As long as you don’t get serious about it, as long as you don’t lead anyone on & make any dates, what’s the harm in pretending to be whatever it is you want to be? It might give you a break from the constant weight that’s heaped on you by society & its ridiculous expectations.
By the way, all the celebrities do it. Google “lindsay lohan photoshop fail” if you want a quick laugh!
It’s true, some get dealt better hands than others. All I can say is, even those who get dealt good hands can be insecure and even give up. You get more points than they do, just for trying. (And yes, I do believe Someone is keeping track of these things.)
Also, looks get less important as you get older. It doesn’t help you now, I know.
It does suck. It really does. Life is not fair, and you got dealt some crappy cards (along with a few good ones – intelligence, being born in a wealthy country etc.)
It doesn’t mean no one will ever like you. They may not like you how you want to be liked. But there is still a respect that can be found by conventionally unattractive people (which is all of us, once we reach a certain age.) If you carry yourself with dignity, humour, and compassion, and treat others the same, then there are people who will see through appearances and want to be your friend. They may not find you attractive, but they will care about you. Employers will recognise you’re a hard worker, and hire you.
It’s a harder life. You won’t be able to coast through on looks and charisma, like so many do. You’ll have to learn to ignore people’s insensitive comments. You’ll have to work hard, and put up with a lot of shit, and make more of an effort with people. But there is worth to be found there.
I’m beautiful and life sucks really bad.
Everyone close in my life as treated me like shit, making me feel like a looser all the time. Inside I feel like I’m the ugliest person alive.
Everyone looks at me and thinks that I’m happy, but only because I’m good looking. The truth is I’m miserable and I feel like shit.