Hi everyone im not sure why im on here telling everyone my story but here it goes not that anyone cares i have been thinking about suicide for along time i got hurt several years ago and lost the use of my left arm and i have cronic pain in my arm now i have to take alot of pain meds just to get through the day im on disability and i hate not being able to work my wife left me several months ago because she said im not the same person anymore and i found out she had been cheating on me for awhile now im on 100 of fentanyl and i take 4 dilaudid a day and i still hurt and now i have nobody i also have high blood pressure the doc says its because of all the pain im always depressed i hate waking up in the morning because i know the day is going to suck i take meds for depression but they dont work and i found out my x ran up 10s of thousands of dollars in dept i just hate my life i even tried to commit suicide i took 80 dilaudid and sleeping pills and buspar and some other pills and it didnt work the doctor said i should have never woke up but i did i have 2 kids and i love them verymuch and i dont want to hurt them but i feel sometimes they would be better off without me im a failure and i dont want to bring them down and i dont want them to worry about me i feel they would be able to move on if i wasnt around i dont know
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i hear you. im sure your kids know how much u love them. have u made ur peace with God before you go? are u sure this is what u want to do? if it is, maybe u should leave a letter of some sort? im sorry u r in so much pain. is there anything besides your children that you would miss in life?
Please do think carefully. Have you tried alternative therapy? Hypnosis can be good for pain. Or maybe just have the arm taken off? Sounds silly I know, but if it’s not there it can’t hurt you can it? Plenty of people manage with one arm.
The problem with suicide is that is does run in families. If someone’s mother, fathe or sibling (even best friend or lover!) kill themselves that person is more likely to follow suit. You just have to look at the posts here to see for yourself.
If you do decide to.. And living in such pain I understand why you would. At least make it look like an accident so your kids don’t follow in your footsteps.
For most people (e.g., without very dangerous jobs), it’s *really* hard to make suicide look like an accident and still be relatively certain.
There’s really no “responsible” way to kill oneself. You can reduce the tonnage slightly, but it’s still a freakin’ nuclear bomb.
I planned to go on holiday and never come back. The world is a big place and nature is dangerous in itself.
But yeh I understand where you’re coming from…
Sometimes it’s hard to say the right thing. I realised this comment might be seen as somewhat offensive or unhelpful… But it was meant to be just another perspective, even if it did come from an idiot.
Heh, maybe there are ways, but I guess we can’t discuss that too much.
It wasn’t anything personal, and I don’t know what the right thing to say is, either. I just know that the natural order of things is to die when you’re old, there’re fewer people depending on your support, and people won’t be terribly inconvenienced by your death. Dying early outside of your own control causes all sorts of problems, and it goes double if you do it yourself.
Lol @QuirkyFox. You, madam are no idiot. More than once you have said what I tried and failed to say. Also I have something for you…
You have something for me!? I WANT IT!!!
@Cephalus… I’m so curious!? Is it just for me?! It’s like my birthday all over again. 😀
tomuchpain ,
1st everyone cares, 2nd shit happens sorry about your condition you have to live with it, 3rd don’t know of any relationships people haven’t been cheated on, 4th pull up your boot straps, evaluate the situation then make decisions and move on, be strong! this is reality this is life! fight! there are no guarantees, don’t live in a dream world, this is life, deal with it!
Thank you guys for reading my post i really didnt think anyone would reply and about tsking the arm off i have talked to the doctors about it but the problem is i have a server case of rsd in my arm what that is is that the brain dosnt relise that thevarm is no longer hurt so it sends constant pain signels to the arm so it would hurt even if the arm wasnt there and im on so much meds that i cant remember anything and im on thevstrongest pain meds there is yhe doctors are suprized i even function im always depressed and lm on disability i cant work i have no life and before all of this i had a house nice truck a great job a wife and a happy family and i lost everything and i just dont see me climbing out of this dark hole im in
Whatever happens, we’re always gonna listen when you need someone to hear you.
Do give the hypnosis a try though!! They have performed operations without anaesthetic using hypnosis… So if you find a really good therapist (not any old joe) it might just work. Who knows maybe you can get it for free via the Dr too?
Best of luck!
tomuchpain,
YOU WILL CLIMB! CRAWL AND SCRATCH!, you will survive things will change, and you will be happy again it happens to everyone, that’s the way it is, happened to me as well, hang in there!!
Hearing stories of being cheated on and abandoned by the one you love always breaks my heart. Keep on fighting, you’re strong and you’ll find a way through this. I like to think that the strongest people are given the heaviest burdens to carry because no ordinary person could carry that much pain. You sound like an extraordinarily strong person and you’re going to make it. Hang in there friend.
Hey man I lost everything too. My wife my Subaru my house my job. All because of my illness. Now I have to learn to cope. I have major bouts of suicide and its like retraining yourself to cope. It can happen you can get through it. Hope u can.
Its just sucks when you are with someone for 20 years and theN they decide i dont want to be with you anymore because your not the person you used to be after i got hurt hell no im not the same person anymore when you are in pain every second of the day and there is nothing that makes it better it will change a person most of the time i dont even want to get up because i hurt and if anything even brushs my arm it sets it on fire its like having road rash all over my arm and it gets so cold sometimes it burns .and i also have nerve damage in my right arm now and i have had 3 surgies on it and My wife leaves me and i lose everything and up to my neck in dept because of my x i know its just life and that i should just live with it and move on but my life is so dark i dont do anything i just stay in my room i have to live in my sisters house because i dont have a home anymore i feel like just shutting in and im just dont feel like doing anything anymore and i have panic attacks and feel like everything is closing in on me i just dont now i used to be a strong person but i dont have any confidence or faith in myself anymore lm worthless