(Hey guys i know this aint really suicide help related but I wrote this based on my exs new gf and I thought for those of us going through a hard time this would be a good laugh. Enjoy!)
To my ex’s New Girlfriend:
So my ex boyfriend dumped me and ended up going out with you. So from woman to woman I thought I would write down a few things you might wanna know about him.
Fantasy: Expect him to stay faithful to him in the relationship?
Reality: HA! Good Luck on that one! He ended up cheating on me right before our 1 year anniversary.
Fantasy: Expecting to spend time alone with him. (even just for talking?)
Reality: Good Luck on that one! You might be able to get away for a few minutes. (If Lucky) Before his mother starts calling his phone non stop till both of you have to go back.
Fantasy: Expecting him to be good in bed?
Reality: PFFT. I’m not gonna waste much time on this one. Lets just say this and leave it at that. He claims hes built like a stallion down there. But in reality he’s more like a my little pony.
Fantasy: Expecting him not to hurt you?
Reality: He may claims he loves you, thinks your beautiful etc. But that wont last long before his true ice exterior shows and hurts you.
I’m not trying to convince you to change your mind. Your a big girl you can make your own choices. But if you choose to run right now I honestly wouldn’t blame you.
From His Ex Gf ; 3