Hello to everyone out there reading this post. I posted what I thought would be my last post nearly 3 weeks ago now. I posted and then went on my last walk to the forsest preserve where I was to die. Had all the supplies in my bag, I was ready for it all to be over. I had finally felt this level of peace that I hadnt felt in over a decade. I was happy that it was finally almost over…..
Well obviously it didnt go according to plan as the branch must have snapped and I woke up on the forest floor. I immediately packed everything up and walked home. The entire walk I spent thinking about what had just happened. Why was I givin a second chance at things when I was so sure I wasnt wanted or needed in this cold world.
Let me tell tell you guys that life works in very strange ways. There have been many positive changes and new opprotunities that I would have never seen coming that fateful day. Life is never going to be exactly what you want it to be. You may not be the best looking person, you may not be the smartest, you may not be popular or have many friends, and people will leave when you need them the most, and when one bad thing happens, Im sure there is more shit coming. I just want everyone out there to know that your not alone, I still battle every single day with depression, and Im sure there is more shit to come in my life. But being that close to death and being given this time that I wouldnt have had changes my thought process just a little bit.
I know the last thing I wanted to hear when I was at my worst was hang in there, its going to get better. I would reply with “you dont know that, you have no idea!” Im here if anyone needs to talk. Your not alone in the battle your going through, not by a long shot.
7 comments
Having hope works only sometimes. Not having hope rarely works.
whats_left ,
ha ha! the branch broke!!!!! your killing me!!!!! 🙂 I’m glad your still here! a bit of a wake up call! next time you will be more careful to pick a larger branch! yes when you truly try to kill yourself and survive, you realize you have a second chance! and since you failed so miserably at hanging yourself, do me a favorer don’t do it again! 🙂 I can’t stand it!!!! look your message is real! things can be worse! and you can make things better! now that you failed so miserably, you have no choice but to press on, about face! spread the word! you were lucky! now prove it was for a reason! change your thinking and give hope to everyone else! I think that branch broke for a reason.
Yeah I guess you could say I underestimated how much I weighed. Pretty amateur mistake I know haha but I want to help anyone and everyone that I can that is going through tough times.
well just as most people I got to this page searching easy ways to commit suicide I’m only 15 but have been thinking about how I could kill myself for quite sometime. I’m planning on doing it tomorrow. Nobody can ever understand how terribly hard it is to be so depressed. “It’ll get better” is probably one of the worst things you could say to a depressed person I see no hope for me, or my life and I’m not really sure how to feel anymore sad is an understatement for how I feel and how bad I ache everyday
My first reaction is to say I’m glad that even though you failed in your attempt, you seem to not have suffered any longterm injuries. Except maybe a bit of a bruised ego.
I’m also glad that you feel like you’re getting a second chance. It seems like you are getting some good breaks now. I hope it continues like that for a long time.
Thanks man. I have been reading all your posts and I really feel for your situation as I am in a very similar one, almost down to the detail. You really have good advice and a good head on your shoulders. I understand your desire to end it all. You are a man that can make a difference in this world though. I truely wish you the very best.
This is great news! After that last post of yours, I’ve been searching your name every few days, hoping to see an update. Glad to have seen one.
Welcome back. 🙂