I don’t know why people keep connecting with me. I know it’s flattering and some people might actually would do anything to get that but it’s rather hard for me. I know spending time with friends would take me away from my problems for a while and that is nice but I know I’m going to be an ass and ruin it. I don’t even know if I’m being an ass or not. I don’t know if people accept me or just trying to keep a profile. I am weird and extremely moody. One shit can hurt me like what AM I!?
I am fine being by my own and I know some point in my life, people will leave and I know that it’s normal. So every time I know someone would leave, I get depressed. And the shitty part is that I know, when people hug each other when graduation, I can’t be THERE(or any social gathering). Why am I so awkward with human interactions? It’s nice but scary. Like one thing can ruin everything. One mistake can make them hate you. Anytime, people can die. I am scared of humans and how they can affect me but I can’t help being drawn to them.
I know people say live for no one. Impress no one. But I admit it is nice being recognized like even in a second, you felt wanted. And I am scared of hurting people. Or they’re very judgement of me. So I always try to be nice and passive.