I’m currently in a partial hospitalization program after half-hearted attempt number 3. Counseling seems to be triggering a lot and I feel worse. I suffer from depression, PTSD, am a victim of abuse, abandonment and neglect. Been in therapy for years. It’s not that I want to die (at my worst I do), it’s that I have no will to live. Does anyone else feel that way?
I want to be happy again. I want to stop the daily thoughts to kill myself. I’m on meds, I’m in intensive therapy, I like my psychiatrist but need a new therapist. My cousin is doing ECT, but I can’t because any memory loss would be catastrophic at work.
I’m trying so hard. Why do I still wish I wouldn’t wake up? What more can I do?
Anyone out there understand?